Sexy Shoes

In the comments of Twitterpated Shoes, Kelly said, "Funny - in my day they were called FM pumps.... is that still a term? At the old age of 40 something - I know I would break my neck trying to walk in a pair of those shoes.. funny but my husband would love it if I tried.... he's weird.... lol."

I did not know what "FM Pumps" meant, so I did what I always do...I Googled the definition. The nice meaning is "sexy boots or footwear women wear while making love."

Then I Googled for websites. This is what I got for FM Pumps


That's really exciting and sexy if you like machinery!

Funny, huh?

We bought my daughter a pair of very high red heels and she wanted to have them broken in before the homecoming dance at school. Being the ever helpful mom that I am, I offered to put them on my feet for a while so that they could stretch. We wear the same size shoe, but my foot is a tad bit wider plus I was wearing thick socks, so I knew it would help the shoe stretch easier with my foot in it.

I sat in the car with the shoes on as she drove along from store to store. Each time I had to get out, I would stand up on the pavement for a good stretch and then put my sneakers on to go do our errand. As we were driving home, I plopped my foot with leg outstretched on the dashboard acting like a silly woman which I often do when I am with my daughter.

"Wow, these are awesome shoes," I said.

"Duh, Mom."

"No! I mean these are awesome shoes on MY feet," I replied.

"Take my shoes off, you are not wearing them any more," she scolded, "because you are too old to wear them any way."

Actually, I don't really like being hiked up that far any more. All I could do was think about what would happen if I twisted my ankle and broke it. Those thoughts never entered my head when I was in my twenties.

Sometimes aging stinks doesn't it?

That's okay. I can still look even though I don't buy them for me any more.

Well, maybe I buy them for me some times, but not always!


Image: source


Image: source


Image: source


Image: source

Aren't they fun?

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Grocery Store Lemmings

When you live in a place that doesn't get snow very often, there is a mild sense of panic that happens to the community. The thought of being trapped in your home immediately brings about the fear of a lack of food and heat.

The place that everyone convenes without even any pre-planning with neighbors is the grocery store. It is a bit humorous. The shopping carts are so full of food that it makes me wonder if anyone ever keeps food in their house.

In my area, we are expected to receive somewhere between six inches and two feet. Big difference between the two amounts!

Like lemmings, we all drove to the grocery store. I only had to buy a few basics and not a mountain of groceries.

So what did I buy?

The basics.

Bread.

Milk.

Fresh vegetables.

Fresh fruit.

And healthy powdered covered donuts , of course!

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The Shopping Cart Handle

What is the difference between
Bird Flu and Swine Flu?

For bird flu you need tweetment and

For swine flu you need oinkment

I went to Walmart...before I go further, I am not one of those Walmart people that you see pictures of looking TOTALLY hideous in the weirdest attire possible. I was wearing jeans, a sweater (an old lady sweater per Alyssa since it had Christmas embroidered things on it), sneakers, my makeup and my hair "fixed" as usual. They are the cheapest place to buy groceries and although I hate it, I have to go there for my economic survival.

Anyway, as I was approaching the store, the first thing I thought was "Do I need a shopping cart?"

I went through my short list in my head.

The next thought, quite apprehensively, was that I did indeed need a cart. As I approached the plastic adorned metal box on uneven, goo stuck wheels, I knew that I had to touch the handles.

I looked around at the people heading for the shopping cart corral.

Half looked unbathed with hair that stuck off their heads like venomous snakes ready to attack anyone that ventured too close. The demeanor of the face adorned by these snakes was also not any kinder.

A fourth of shoppers looked like respectable albeit grumpy people. I would include all those women who were dressed to the nines with high heels and gobs of jewelry. A smile would have actually helped them to look attractive. I don't understand why so many women want to dress up to go grocery shopping in Walmart, but to each their own. At least their hair wasn't going to attack me.

The last fourth were germ infested, smiling, beautiful, little angel children. Many of these priceless pearls would climb into the front of the shopping cart or were placed in the back of the shopping cart. I would have to say that a large portion of these most loving humans on the earth would suck or lick various parts of the cart or do the same to their hands and then touch the cart. Then there were also those sweet bumpkins who would wipe their nose with a tiny little hand and then touch the cart.

Now, it was my turn to take a cart by placing my hands in the same place so many others had touched...in one way or another.

I hesitated only a second.

Then I touched the shopping cart handle.

I think I could feel germs crawling up my arms racing toward my face in order to find an orifice in which to enter and contaminate me with horrible germs.

I continued to push the three wheeled cart forward through the store. I say three wheels because one of them was slightly higher than the rest and it never touched the floor. Instead, it just kept spinning around and around like a carousel at a county fair that had gone crazy or maybe that woman's head on the Exorcist.

By the time I checked out with my few items I felt that trying to avoid germs was impossible in a store due to the grimy cart and people who cough and sneeze without covering their mouth or nose.

I'm sure you can guess the first thing I did when I got home...

No! I didn't wash my hands.

I took a bath and watched all those germs go down the drain.

I think there were millions.

Icky!

If I get sick I will have to go back to the same store and buy some tweetment and oinkment.

Didn't see that last one coming did you?

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Sippy Cup of Kindness

As you know, I do not like to go shopping. I guess I didn't get that gene. There are times, unfortunately, that I must go to the store for needed items. On those occasions my mind has been trained by long ago past experience when I shopped often. I expect to enter a "clean" store with "polite" shoppers and "helpful" clerks. Isn't that your expectation?


Undoubtedly, almost every shopping experience falls short of this target. Often the stores are in total disarray because the clerks don't have pride in their job and let their duties fall to the wayside. Also, the shoppers do not have respect for the store so they unfold, scatter, and open items without putting them back the way they found them. The politeness and helpful factor is non-existent. Fellow shoppers shove and run into me without apologizing. Often they don't even acknowledge my existence, thus nearly knocking me off my feet. A cheerful "May I help you?" never escapes the lips of the clerks. They are too busy talking on the cell phone or trying to look busy in another part of the store so that they do not have to help the customers.

I was shopping for supplies since I am making my families gifts. Not only do they enjoy the gift that has effort and thought, but it helps the budget since my husband is not working. Upon entering one store today, I had a lady run into me with her basket. She looked at me and raised her eyebrows.

That's it!

Christmas spirit or not I said, "Excuse you."

She laughed and went past me.

I continued my hunt for this one particular item. I'll show you pictures of everything when Christmas is over. I finally gave up and sought the help of a store clerk.

Not only did she literally drag her steps as she went down the correct aisle, but she only pointed to the item that had been so elusive.

She didn't smile.

She didn't make eye contact.

She didn't say a word.

I said, "Thank you! I've been looking high and low for this today."

Nothing.

Not a word.

She acted all put out as she dragged her feet back to the front of the store acting like a spoiled baby.

As a matter of fact, everyone acted like a spoiled child.

I wish they would all just get a sippy cup of kindness and drink it for a few days.

Note: The sippy cup is a spill-proof drinking cup designed for toddlers.

Wherever there is a human being,
there is an opportunity
for a kindness."~Seneca~Roman philosopher, mid-1st century AD

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