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Celebrate When The Time Is Right




I have worked throughout the weekend without hardly a break, but my blog is ready to get a new facelift. I'm not sure if I will be able to blog while it is being transformed, but I wanted you all to be aware that I am here, watching, waiting and definitely celebrating.




"Victory is sweetest
when you've known defeat.
~ Malcolm S. Forbes ~





The Redhead Riter








It Has Been A Year And It Just Might Shock You




A little over a year ago while in the throes of my PTSD, I decided to get my own dot com, self-host my blog, redesign the entire format and move to WordPress. I'm sure you're thinking, "She's a nut to try and do all that at the same time!" and you know, you're right!

The first two tasks were quite simple and were completed rather quickly. The redesign has been REAL work because not only was I struggling with all the horribleness of the PTSD symptoms, but I had to also learn more coding than I've ever had to do.
Oft times, I felt that I was drowning and needed a life jacket to save me from the whirling codes floating across my monitor and other times I just wanted to throw the whole computer off a very tall building.

I would work on my blog for a while and then I would take a break when life and the PTSD overwhelmed me. Inevitably, when I would return to it a few weeks later, I would completely change the blog by adding new elements and removing others that were already implemented. I will tell you that I had decided on the color green, emerald green to be exact, and the blog was ready to go except for the header. I was satisfied - not happy, but satisfied.

Then we embarked on creating a new header. It seemed that either I was sick, Alyssa was sick, one of us was too tired or Alyssa was too busy to take my photo in the location that I had picked out which meant that my blog just sat... and waited... for me to return.

A few weeks ago I sat back down to look at my blog and I hated the green. Actually, I hated lots about the design too. All of it reminded me of the miserable PTSD flashbacks that I had and the turmoil that I felt inside. Once again, I completely changed it. This time, however, I am happy with the final outcome AND I am satisfied. There are things that I can add to it later, but the format is now the way I like it and so is the color. My blog will be peaceful and welcoming not only to you, but to me also. It is definitely going to be like home.

Also, as of tonight, I have the new header on the new blog and I think it just might shock you. It is definitely a CHANGE from the fiery head bent down to block the sun from my eyes that you see in the header right now. One of the crazy things about red hair is that the lighting completely determines how red the hair appears. For instance, in fluorescent light, sometimes my hair almost appears light brown and yet in the sun, it is almost orange again. Yeah, it is crazy, but I'm just thankful that I am not an orange head all the time.



I will get the last few weeks of posts transferred over to the new blog and then you will be able to enter the new home of The Redhead Riter!

Yes! I am VERY EXCITED....FINALLY! This marks the end of a very bad chapter in my life and symbolizes a new, fresh beginning. I'm so glad that I didn't give up on myself and I appreciate you for hanging in there with me.



"Man often becomes what he believes himself to be.
If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing,
it is possible that I may end by really
becoming incapable of doing it.
On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it,
I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it
even if I may not have it at the beginning."
~Mahatma Gandhi~



The Redhead Riter






Chuckle of the Day - A Close Shave For The Aging




An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut, but he tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.

The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he's had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had swallowed that little ball.

The barber replied, "Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does."





The Redhead Riter






The Day My Daughter Tried To Kill Me


Alyssa, my sweet daughter

A couple of weeks ago, after Alyssa had already passed a flu-like virus to me, she tried to kill me. That's gratitude for all my years of loving devotion! So this is what happened...

I was feeling rather lethargic from trying to fight off the germs of the virus and didn't feel much like cooking or eating. Alyssa got ready for work, hugged me and left, so I stretched out on the couch and watched the clouds in the sky. Yeah, I know, it was so thrilling you just can't imagine.

Hours later, I went into the kitchen and saw that Alyssa had leftover food from some restaurant that she had left right next to the refrigerator. It was like she had taken it out to get to something else and just forgot to put it back. I opened it and saw some yummy grilled chicken, onions, red bell peppers and all the fixings for barely one fajita. They were warm, so I knew I couldn't put it back in the refrigerator.

I thought, "I will eat it so it won't go bad and be a waste."

I warmed it up very grateful that I didn't have to cook anything or resort to just a cold sandwich. Shortly thereafter I was enjoying a delicious meal. Well, I couldn't taste much because of my sinus infection and bronchitis, but what I could taste was quite yummy.

However, thirty minutes after eating the fajita, I was so sick. Seriously, I was in the bathroom for hours wondering if my body was every going to get rid of the "virus" that Alyssa had given me.

In the evening when Alyssa got home and headed for the kitchen, I told her that I ate her fajita leftovers because they were left out on the counter next to the refrigerator. I told her that if she wanted to go buy some more, I would give her the money since I had eaten it.

Alyssa stared at me with a horrified look on her face. She looked like I had hit her and then said, "I'm SO sorry, Mom. I'm SO SORRY! Oh Mom! I'm so sorry I left it by the refrigerator. I should have thrown it in the trash. It has been sitting in my room for two days. OH MOM, I'M SO SORRY!"

The sun shines in Alyssa's bedroom window and when she is gone, we leave the door shut so that Bella can't do any further damage - (computer evidence 1, evidence 2, evidence 3). Obviously, her room gets a little warmer than the rest of the house which means that the chicken fajita did too.

I stared at her with a million things running through my mind:
Why didn't she put it in the trash when she brought it in the kitchen? Probably because she had twenty things on her mind before she left for work.

Why didn't she put it in the trash two days ago instead of letting it sit on her desk in her bedroom? Maybe because she is still in messy teenager mode.

I wonder what the chicken fajita really tasted like because obviously my sinus infection and bronchitis must have masked the real flavor.

No wonder I got sooooooooooo sick, sooooooooooo fast!

I didn't even connect eating the chicken fajita with my sickness earlier because I thought it was due to the virus. I wonder if there will be any residual effect on my body later tonight?
"Alyssa!!!!!" was the only word I could form to say.

I didn't get mad. At that point, I was rather grateful I lost the food so fast earlier or I might have really gotten much sicker. I just shrugged and shook my head in disbelief at all the crazy things that happen to me.

Alyssa kept telling me she was sorry even though she smiled like, "That is the funniest thing I've ever done to my mother."

Obviously, my daughter tried to kill me. (wink).


The Redhead Riter






Rockin' Friends Woo Us To Your Blog



What Is The Meaning Of Woo Us To Your Blog?


First, let me give you the definition of the word woo:
:to solicit or entreat especially with importunity.
:to invite by one's own action;
:to seek to persuade (a person, group, etc.), as to do something; solicit.

Therefore, this post includes an opportunity for you to invite, solicit or persuade everyone to visit your blog. The means by which you do that is by simply dropping the URL of your blog/website into the Linky at the end of the post. You will also get to have a photo attached to catch the attention of people who read this post.

Easy?

Yep! Definitely very easy to do!


Rockin' Friends Spotlight of the Week
Now, the time we have all been anxiously awaiting...This is the weekly post where I spotlight my Rockin' Friends who are the Top Nine active participants and loyal followers in my community where you will find THE BEST people in the world! If you want to be mentioned here next week, then all it takes is to come in and start chatting with everyone in my community.

Top 9 Rockin' Friends


With a big, heartfelt thank you for their participation and friendship, here are the Rockin' Friends this week in order of most participation.
I'm so glad that I've been able to become friends with these wonderful people who are so active in my community. I encourage you to add their blogs to your blogroll, but also come over and chat with us in my community.

For everyone mentioned in the top nine this week, feel free to grab the Rockin' Friend badge below and thank you for your participation!!

Rockin' Friend


Until next week...Kiss your family, hug your friends and don't forget to be the friend you would like to have around.

Woo Us To Your Blog

As always, attached is the weekly Linky to enter either the main URL to your site or add each post you publish throughout the week. You don't have to do anything special, just drop your link in and get a little extra exposure to your site.





The Redhead Riter



Once Upon A Time He Said He Loved Me - Why Women Believe


Why did you believe him?


I can look at my marriage relationships in two ways: I'm either a two time loser or I've tried two times to find a compatible partner. I vacillate between both thoughts and it just depends on the day and my mood, but most of the time I think I stand somewhere in the middle. Marriage taught me so many things about myself and even more about men. I can tell you something that I am unequivocally sure of and that is men and women are EXTREMELY different beings!

The History For Most Women


It all starts with "Once upon a time..." and ends with "And they lived happily ever after."

That is such a loaded sentence. Fairy tales are simply nice stories that brainwash little girls to think that a guy will swoop them off their feet, completely respect them, never hurt their feelings, totally take care of all their physical and emotional needs, have plenty of money so there will never be a financial worry, protect her from all evil people, be absolutely the most gorgeous man that walked the planet AND their whole life will be as happy as the wedding day.

Oh goodness! Somebody point me to the bathroom so I can throw up.

Before I go any further, I have to confess that I read the fairy tales to Brittany and Alyssa, so I did my part in the brainwashing scheme. I'm sorry, but I'm here now to try and undo some of the damage I have done.

Talking - Communication - Chatter - Language


Twitter helped me come up with my manly communication epiphany (the perfect way to talk to men) and the Magnificent Seven at lunch continue to expand my knowledge on the numerous differences between men and women. No, I didn't come up with that name for them - they have named themselves. (rolling eyes)

I can write until my eyes bug out and my fingers cramp, but I cannot continually talk day after day after day. In all honesty, if I talk too much in one day my voice goes hoarse. I just don't use my vocal chords that much I guess. So, although I can write a billion words without stopping, I am not a chatter-box in the flesh. That is why I have lunch with the Magnificent Seven. They talk, but it is not a constant chatter about a billion things. I need some peace in order for my food to digest! The men also do not talk all at the same time or try to talk over each other. Of course, their topics are very different than when a group of women get together too.

If you watch them, the scene is something like this: They will take a bite of their food, chew, say a sentence, laugh, take another bite, laugh and then there is silence until someone else finally thinks of something to say. The subjects of discussion include such things as motorcycles, cars, trucks, house repairs, stereo speakers, lawn care, television shows, movies, hunting, politics, aggravating things their wives and children do, vacation plans, restaurants, food and electronics of all kinds.

They laugh a lot.

A lot.

Sometimes they are so into being men that I totally do not understand why something is funny, so they have to explain it to me. Somehow that always causes more laughter, but I'm just glad they take the time to explain it! Usually by the time I finally "get it," I am once again squarely reminded that our genders are so very different.

I think one of the most important things I have learned is that on average, men have simple wants and desires. Men are basic. It is easy to understand men because they just "say" what they are thinking and/or feeling. They also live in the now - peacefully and without a bunch of self-inflicted rules. On the flip side, women are extremely complicated and have far too many rules, hidden agendas and expectations of themselves and everyone else. The reason why women are that way is because of my first point - they have been brainwashed to think that "Once upon a time...happily every after."



"You said I was all you'd ever need
Love is blind and little did I know
That you were just another dead-end road
Paved with pretty lies and broken dreams"
~Julie Roberts


He Said He Loved Me


There are a few things women crave and right at the top of the list is hearing a man say, "I love you." Once she hears those three little words, the visions in her head work overtime on thoughts of white lace, a home, children, cooking holiday meals and the list goes on and on. To her, those words mean, "He's mine forever and we will live happily ever after."

(LOUD ALARM ringing)

When a man says, "I love you," it does not mean all that other stuff every time. Men live in the present...right now. If he says, "I love you," then he might just be saying it to get his way or he may really be feeling that wonderful feeling right now, but he may not necessarily want to be your husband, the father of your children or see your face every morning on the pillow next to his.

Why?????

Well, there are several reasons that men will say, "I love you" and not really feel it, but I think the one at the top of the list is that the woman forces the man to say, "I love you." If the woman keeps saying, "I love you" over and over and over and over, often the man will reciprocate just to get her to shut up nagging him about it. I understand both sides, but the solution is that the woman should just wait until the man says it first in actions and words. If she waits and he never says "I love you," then he doesn't feel it! No matter how many times the woman says, "I love you," it is not going to change the man's mind or heart. He may not ever love the woman. This is a reality women need to learn to accept.

I didn't do that, so that isn't what happened with my marriages.

Men And Women


The next most prevalent mistake women make in relationships is the false belief that just because she can whip up a quiche before going to work and then, after she gets home, clean the house and cook dinner while ironing fifteen loads of laundry in record time, the man is going to be madly in love with her because she can do so many things proficiently.

Pah-leez! Since when was loving someone measured by how many things they can do in the shortest amount of time or how many talents they possess?


As ridiculous as it sounds, this is where I have failed. This "was" my fatal flaw. I'm definitely stressing "was" because that is my past weakness. I felt that if I was the "perfect" woman, I would be loved forever.

Hogwash! Two things are totally wrong with that line of thinking. There is no such a thing as a perfect woman! Wonder Woman is a comic book character and not a real life model. Secondly, no one can control how another person feels. People can be influenced, but you can't make someone FEEL love for you if they don't feel it! Obviously, it was totally irrelevant that I could "bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan," because my relationships ended. I'm living proof that the love of a man is not obtained by striving to do lots of things well.

I have learned that when I excel at something, I am doing it for ME. It is not necessary for me to prove to anyone that I have talents. Besides, my talents are not related to me being lovable. The two have absolutely nothing to do with each other... I am lovable because I am ME. I don't have to be great at anything other than being ME! What a relief! It sure has taken off all that pressure to perform well in every area of living. In fact, it has made life so much happier and I feel much more relaxed. Being ME isn't so hard since I don't have a list of 1,000 self-imposed expectations that I must accomplish in heroic fashion while being completely stressed out.

Why Did You Believe Him?


Most women feel incomplete without the "Once upon a time...happily every after." Not only do they feel the need to mate in order to have children, they also crave the companionship. NOTHING is wrong with feeling this way! Love is a beautiful emotion! However, most women are not educated in the art of choosing love wisely.

Women settle.

The moment they hear the words, "I love you," often reason and logic fly out the window. The musical melody is so beautiful to the heart that the brain simply doesn't stand a chance or get to voice an opinion.

When I used to go shopping with Alyssa when she was young, I always did the same thing when she wanted to spend her money on something expensive on a whim. It didn't matter how much she wanted the item at the moment, I always told her, "We will come back tomorrow and if you still want it, then I will let you buy it." Of course, that took the wind out of her sails, but she would agree. What do you think happened the next day when I asked if she wanted to go back to the store and buy the product? Almost every time she would say something like, "No Mom. It will take too much of my money and I don't want it that much."

Yep. Exactly. In the heat of the moment, the desire for it was there, but after a good night's rest and further contemplation, she discovered that it wasn't worth the price she would have to pay.

That is the message.

Just because someone loves you, it doesn't mean that they are the right person for you to share your future and dreams with every day. The brain needs to have a part in the discussion of your future. If the love is freely felt by both and the other elements in the relationship make sense to the brain, then it can be a successful union. It can be a companionship that you can rely upon. Someone who will be strong when you are weak. There will be laughter, fun, sharing, caring, passion and lots of love that will grow each day.

Is this a guarantee?

No! Nothing in life is guaranteed except for death. However, making a choice based on more than passion and three words will get you the closest to the wish of "Once upon a time...happily ever after."



The Redhead Riter






Original Nanaimo Bars Recipe From Nanaimo BC, Vancouver Island, Canada


Known as the place with one of the most beautiful Canadian waterfronts, Nanaimo, British Columbia, located on Vancouver Island is the birthplace of the Nanaimo Bar.

I didn't change anything in the original recipe...this time...and I got it straight from the City of Nanaimo. There are so many sweet twists and additions that can be made to add to the delightful taste of the Nanaimo Bars, but I wanted to show you the original first.

Another thing we need to establish is how to say it! I have a really hard time remembering how to say Nanaimo and usually resort to calling them, "The Bars" or "Those bars from Canada." Go ahead and roll your eyes! I can't help it! With a little help from a friend, I am going to tell you how to say Nanaimo phonetically.

Nuh-neye-moe =

Nuh like when you say, "Uh in 'Uh huh'"
Neye like "N + eye"
Moe like "toe"

So is that perfectly clear now? Say it with me...Nanaimo Bars!

Okay, I think you got it!

Now, let me show you a picture taken in Nanaimo.


In the City of Nanaimo BC on Vancouver Island in Canada


That photo takes my breath away and puts all my photographs to shame! It is so beautiful!


(Taking a moment to get lost in the photograph.)

Let's stop dreaming of going to Nanaimo and make some Nanaimo Bars instead since it is much quicker and less expensive. (wink)



The Original Nanaimo Bars Recipe
From Nanaimo BC, Vancouver Island, Canada



Here is a big surprise...You don't bake this recipe for Nanaimo Bars!!! There is no reason that you can't make them yourself EVEN if you don't cook! Aren't you surprised and excited?

Let's start with the bottom layer!

Melt the butter, sugar and cocoa in the top of a double boiler. If you don't have a double boiler, a glass or metal bowl sitting on top of a small pot with about 2 inches of water works great! Actually, I like it better because the bowl is curved and it is easier to keep all the ingredients stirred.





Add egg and stir to cook and thicken.





Remove from heat.





Remember those beautiful graham crackers that I made from scratch? Well, I told you I was going to use them in something yummy and this is the recipe!!!

Crunch up the graham crackers and stir in crumbs and...






coconut and...





....nuts.





Yum. Yum. Yum.





You will be very tempted to just eat this warm mixture, but don't do it!!! I promise it will be worth finishing the recipe.





Press firmly into an ungreased 8" x 8" pan.





This is the only thing I disagree with in this recipe. I would say to press into a "greased" pan because otherwise the bars REALLY stick to the pan, but you choose which you want to do.

Put it in the refrigerator for thirty minutes to an hour. Yeah, this recipe requires patience.






You've patiently waited for about an hour and now it is time to put the middle layer together.

Cream the room temperature butter and....





heavy whipping cream and





the custard powder (Bird's really is the best and you can find it in the grocery store most of the time, but you can always order it online too), and...





icing sugar or confectioner's sugar together well.





Oh.

I almost forgot to tell you!

I did add 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract because the custard powder I purchased was plain instead of vanilla.






Beat until light and fluffy.





Remove the pan from the refrigerator and
spread the custard over the bottom layer.

Now guess what?

You have to put it back in the refrigerator for another hour.

I said you didn't have to BAKE, but I didn't say it wouldn't take a while to prepare. I thought I would just remind you of that fact.






Another hour has passed and it is time for the third and final layer.

A recipe with chocolate squares has to be delicious.





Crush up the chocolate.

Mmmmmmm.........

I love chocolate.

I love the way it looks and feels and smells and tastes and....

Oh, sorry.

So just crush it.





Melt chocolate and butter over low heat in a double boiler.





After it has completely melted, remove from heat and let cool.





Once the chocolate mixture has cooled to the touch, but still liquid, pour over second layer.





Let it chill in the refrigerator for at least a couple hours, but overnight is even better.

Oh, come on. You knew I was going to say that little bit about cooling. Just remember, you aren't having to bake it!





Now it is time to drool.





Doesn't the bottom crust look rich? Well, the whole dessert is rich and you won't be able to eat a whole bunch of it at once.





I can not adequately describe how smooth the custard will feel on your tongue or





how the texture of the bottom crust and the silky chocolate on the top enhances the whole dessert.





Euphoria.





Absolutely the epitome of deliciousness.





Do you know what this dessert makes me think of because it is almost as enjoyable?





Let me officially say that Nanaimo Bars make me think of this (click here).

Yeah. I'm very predictable, but you love me anyway and I appreciate you reading my blog!

I hope you enjoy the recipe!

A big shout out and lots of {{{{hugggggggssss}}}} for all my Canadian friends. Do you think I do your dessert justice?

So who is going to make Nanaimo Bars this weekend?!!!




Original Nanaimo Bars Recipe
From Nanaimo BC, Vancouver Island, Canada



Ingredients for Bottom Layer:

1/2 cup unsalted butter (European style cultured)
1/4 cup sugar
5 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg beaten
1-1/4 cups graham wafer crumbs (I used my homemade graham crackers)
1/2 cup finely chopped almonds
1 cup coconut

Directions for Bottom Layer:

Melt first three ingredients in top of double boiler. Add egg and stir to cook and thicken. Remove from heat. Stir in crumbs, coconut, and nuts. Press firmly into an ungreased 8" x 8" pan.


Ingredients for Second Layer:

1/2 cup unsalted butter
2 tablespoons and 2 teaspoons cream
2 tablespoons vanilla custard powder (Bird's works great)
2 cups icing sugar

Directions for Second Layer:

Cream butter, cream, custard powder, and icing sugar together well. Beat until light. Spread over bottom layer.


Ingredients for Third Layer:

4 squares semi-sweet chocolate (1 oz. each)
2
tablespoons unsalted butter

Directions for Third Layer:

Melt chocolate and butter over low heat. Cool. Once cool, but still liquid, pour over second layer and chill in refrigerator.

Cut with a warm knife and wipe it clean after each cut.

The Redhead Riter





Being Fuzzy Or Not Being As Fuzzy When We Age




Nestled on one of the branches of my mother's Christmas tree every year is a little fuzzy - well, mostly fuzzy bunny rabbit.


fuzzy bunny


As you can tell from the photos, his fuzziness is missing in spots. At one time, the little bunny had fuzzy fur covering everywhere including the now very worn toes, nose and ears. I think that the bunny is more beautiful now than when it was brand new.





You may be thinking that I need glasses so that I can see the very splotchy bunny more clearly. Let me assure you that I'm wearing my glasses and can see just fine. Have you ever read a book called The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams? It is a story about a stuffed rabbit that was the favorite toy of a young boy and thus became very worn, even more worn than my mother's fuzzy bunny.





In the story, the Velveteen Rabbit is just a toy, but wishes to be a Real rabbit more than anything. At one point of the story he is told that:

"Generally, by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

When my niece, Brittany, was a little girl, my mother's fuzzy bunny was one of her favorite things. Each time we visited Mom, Brittany would hold, talk for, talk to, sing to, stare at, pet, hug and kiss the fuzzy bunny. After years of all those kisses, the fuzzy bunny had a lot of his fuzz loved off. To Brittany, the fuzzy bunny was not only one of the most precious possessions of my mother, but he had become Real to her.

Obviously, when I see the somewhat fuzzy bunny now, my mind is filled with memories of a beautiful little girl affectionately holding it for hours on end. I'm sure it is quite apparent why I think the bunny is absolutely beautiful.





I believe the same concept applies to people. Everyone can't look like movie stars and models, not even the movie stars and models. We all know that photos are touched up to make the people look perfect, but there isn't any perfect person. Besides, if we all looked the same, this would be a very boring world. Our diversity keeps us interesting and unique.

We are special. No one else has been, is or will ever be just like us.

As we grow older, parts of our bodies begin to fluff out, sag down, wrinkle, crinkle, splotch, creak and a hundred other things. It doesn't make us
ugly except to people who don't understand. By the time the candles on the birthday cake start to look like a bonfire, we have acquired a wealth of information and experience that we can share. Our physical bodies may fail us, but our souls are still quite vibrant. That is really the part that counts.

Beneath the skin and inside our continually aging body is our soul. Have we loved from the depths of our soul and given so much love away that our fuzziness has been worn off? Hmmm...a very interesting question. Well, I refuse to be old inside no matter how old I get on the outside. When I think of myself, in my mind's eye I see an innocent twenty-five year old with long flowing red hair and unblemished alabaster skin dotted with faint freckles. I was so full of hope, life and youthfulness.

I no longer have a twenty-five year old body and my fuzziness is worn off in many places. I can honestly say that I have loved and been loved so much that my soul feels full. As far as my constant changing body goes, I don't really mind that it doesn't look twenty-five any more and the people that matter don't mind either. They think I am beautiful and love me - the Real me.





What about you...are you missing some fuzziness? Have you opened yourself up to be loved? Do you have that warm, peaceful feeling of love for others?

Yes? Then you know exactly what I'm talking about! However, if you answered the question negatively, just remember...It's not too late to start now.



"Accept the things
to which fate binds you,
and love the people with
whom fate brings you together,
but do so with all your heart."
~ Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
(121-180AD) Roman Emperor, Philosopher


Brittany, my niece


The Redhead Riter