Being Fuzzy Or Not Being As Fuzzy When We Age

Nestled on one of the branches of my mother's Christmas tree every year is a little fuzzy - well, mostly fuzzy bunny rabbit.





As you can tell from the photos, his fuzziness is missing in spots. At one time, the little bunny had fuzzy fur covering everywhere including the now very worn toes, nose and ears. I think that the bunny is more beautiful now than when it was brand new.





You may be thinking that I need glasses so that I can see the very splotchy bunny more clearly. Let me assure you that I'm wearing my glasses and can see just fine. Have you ever read a book called The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams? It is a story about a stuffed rabbit that was the favorite toy of a young boy and thus became very worn, even more worn than my mother's fuzzy bunny.





In the story, the Velveteen Rabbit is just a toy, but wishes to be a Real rabbit more than anything. At one point of the story he is told that:

"Generally, by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

When my niece, Brittany, was a little girl, my mother's fuzzy bunny was one of her favorite things. Each time we visited Mom, Brittany would hold, talk for, talk to, sing to, stare at, pet, hug and kiss the fuzzy bunny. After years of all those kisses, the fuzzy bunny had a lot of his fuzz loved off. To Brittany, the fuzzy bunny was not only one of the most precious possessions of my mother, but he had become Real to her.

Obviously, when I see the somewhat fuzzy bunny now, my mind is filled with memories of a beautiful little girl affectionately holding it for hours on end. I'm sure it is quite apparent why I think the bunny is absolutely beautiful.





I believe the same concept applies to people. Everyone can't look like movie stars and models, not even the movie stars and models. We all know that photos are touched up to make the people look perfect, but there isn't any perfect person. Besides, if we all looked the same, this would be a very boring world. Our diversity keeps us interesting and unique.

We are special. No one else has been, is or will ever be just like us.

As we grow older, parts of our bodies begin to fluff out, sag down, wrinkle, crinkle, splotch, creak and a hundred other things. It doesn't make us ugly except to people who don't understand. By the time the candles on the birthday cake start to look like a bonfire, we have acquired a wealth of information and experience that we can share. Our physical bodies may fail us, but our souls are still quite vibrant. That is really the part that counts.

Beneath the skin and inside our continually aging body is our soul. Have we loved from the depths of our soul and given so much love away that our fuzziness has been worn off? Hmmm...a very interesting question. Well, I refuse to be old inside no matter how old I get on the outside. When I think of myself, in my mind's eye I see an innocent twenty-five year old with long flowing red hair and unblemished alabaster skin dotted with faint freckles. I was so full of hope, life and youthfulness.

I no longer have a twenty-five year old body and my fuzziness is worn off in many places. I can honestly say that I have loved and been loved so much that my soul feels full. As far as my constant changing body goes, I don't really mind that it doesn't look twenty-five any more and the people that matter don't mind either. They think I am beautiful and love me - the Real me.





What about you...are you missing some fuzziness? Have you opened yourself up to be loved? Do you have that warm, peaceful feeling of love for others?

Yes? Then you know exactly what I'm talking about! However, if you answered the question negatively, just remember...It's not too late to start now.

"Accept the things
to which fate binds you,
and love the people with
whom fate brings you together,
but do so with all your heart."~ Marcus Aurelius Antoninus(121-180AD) Roman Emperor, Philosopher

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Fire, Ice, Passion And Indifference - Robert Frost Was A Master Poet

My favorite author is an American poet who died the same month and year that I was born. He was honored frequently during his lifetime and even received four Pulitzer Prizes for Poetry. I even love his name because it makes me think of the cold winter months and the hope of snow.

Who is it?

It is none other than Robert Frost.

Fire and Ice
by Robert Frost

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

This poem brings to mind the question that continues to be discussed just as it was in times of old. Will the world end in fire or ice? With a very crisp and short discussion, the speaker in the poem decides that either one will do the trick.

However this poem also speaks of love's desire compared to hate. So if you think of the poem as the "world" being a "relationship" then it puts a little different meaning on it.

A relationship based on "fire" or "passion" without a foundation of love can quickly become consumed/end when the "thrill" is gone. The end result is the same for a bond that is cold as "ice" and filled with indifference or "hate". Obviously, having a successful relationship requires a balance of emotions and actions.

So take a quick reassessment: Do you have your "love" on "ice" too often?








Now, the time we have all been anxiously awaiting...This is the weekly post where I spotlight my Rockin' Friends who are the Top Nine active participants and loyal followers in my community where you will find THE BEST people in the world! If you want to be mentioned here next week, then all it takes is to come in and start chatting with everyone in my community.



With a big, heartfelt thank you for their participation and friendship, here are the Rockin' Friends this week in order of most participation.

• Katlupe at Homesteading On The Internet


• Joan at A Bad Marriage Is Fattening


• Byn at Bean's Monkey Business


• Aleta at Aleta's Arty Facts


• MommyStayHome at Work At Home


• Kristi at Child Sensitive Communication Grid
  


• Carol at A Creative Harbor


• Bev at eBlebco.com


• Meg at Mergie

I'm so glad that I've been able to become friends with these wonderful people who are so active in my community. I encourage you to add their blogs to your blogroll, but also come over and chat with us in my community.

For everyone mentioned in the top nine this week, feel free to grab the Rockin' Friend badge below and thank you for your participation!!



<a href="http://www.theredheadriter.com" target="_blank"><img style="width: 150px; height: 150px;" border="0" alt="Rockin' Friends" title="Rockin' Friends" src="http://i622.photobucket.com/albums/tt308/TheRedHeadRiter/2009%20TEMPLATE/69015f9c.jpg"/></a>
Until next week...Kiss your family, hug your friends and don't forget to be the friend you would like to have around.

Woo Us To Your Blog

As always, attached is the weekly Linky to enter either the main URL to your site or add each post you publish throughout the week. You don't have to do anything special, just drop your link in and get a little extra exposure to your site.

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34 Important Things In A Loving Marriage Or Relationship - Attributes Of A Successful Bond

I have earned the "Been There, Done That Diploma" and proudly display it on my living room wall in a huge gold frame with a light shining on it. I'm not perfect in a marriage or any other kind of relationship, but I do know many things that will enhance the bond.

I think all too often people approach marriage relationships unrealistically. They think that it will be white lace and roses every day. Actually, that is part of the problem - they don't think past the day of white lace and roses.








Love is a beautiful emotion. If more people practiced unconditional, selfless love, this planet would be entirely different. The best place to start improving our lives and the lives of those around us is to learn how to have successful relationships.


"He who wants a rose
must respect the thorn."~ Persian Proverb





Qualities and characteristics of a loving bond are easy to pinpoint because the relationship is happy, healthy and successful. I purposely did not put this list of attributes in order of importance because I wanted to keep disagreements down to a minimum (smile). Instead, they are listed by "length" of the word or phrase with the shortest being first. Nerdy way to do it, but I'm sure my listing method won't surprise you at all. So here are 34 important things in a loving marriage or relationship:

• trust
• loyalty
  
• respect
• honesty
• patience
• courtesy
  
• reliability
• gratitude
• forgiving
• friendship
• dedication
• faithfulness
• affectionate
• passion/sex
• commitment
• common goals
  
• sense of humor
• listens attentively
• agree to disagree
• common interests
  
• unconditional love
• open-mindedness
• emotional support
• not overly sensitive
• giving/unselfishness
• accepts without judgment
• willingness to communicate
• security/money/willing to work
• understands alone time/space
• expresses wants, needs and feelings
• keeps the relationship fresh/surprises
• time is set aside to do things together
• willing to negotiate and compromise/"win-win" attitude
• understands and accepts that there are definite differences in each person and that everything doesn't always make sense

I know that is a long list, but you don't have to be perfect to have a successful marriage or relationship. The "willingness" to work on it daily is the key. There never has been nor ever will be a union between two people that is perfect, but there are loving relationships that have many perfect moments.

Ahhh....perfect moments. That is why there are fairy tales. We long for the perfect moments in life. Well, they are possible, but there is hard work involved and a willingness to take the risk. In the end though, the perfect moments make it all worth it.


Love is like a rose: Long after the outer petals shrivel and fade, the most fragrant and intoxicating velvety softness can still be found.








Okay, breathe!

That post was so serious!

I will leave you now with a rose and a bit of levity by the First Lady of the United States (1933 to 1945)...


"I once had a rose named after me and
I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read the description
in the catalogue:
no good in a bed,
but fine up against a wall."~Eleanor Roosevelt





Happy Valentine's Day! May you always love and be loved.

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Airports Are The Best And Worst Of Times

It was the best of times,
it was the worst of times,
it was the age of wisdom,
it was the age of foolishness,
it was the epoch of belief,
it was the epoch of incredulity,
it was the season of Light,
it was the season of Darkness,
it was the spring of hope,
it was the winter of despair,
we had everything before us,
we had nothing before us..."
~Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities


Last year Alyssa wanted to go to her paternal grandfather's funeral to be a support/comfort to her dad and grandmother. I thought it was an admirable desire, but it meant that she would fly for the first time alone and all the way to the Las Vegas airport.

I was terrified.

My baby...

Alone...

On an airplane miles up in the air...

Without me to make sure she remained safe, fed and happy.

Yeah, I know she isn't really a baby, but Alyssa will always be my baby. Since my earliest memories, I've had the "mothering" instinct even when I was just a child. I am a caregiver, so doing for others makes me feel needed, wanted, fulfilled and happy and that is what my mothering includes.

Anyway, Alyssa wanted my "blessing" to go on the trip. I've always tried to let my daughter experience life without my fears holding her back, so I didn't want to start acting too over-protective now that we were on the last leg of her being a teenager.

I agreed to let her go on the trip and fly without me.

As the day approached, I had helped Alyssa plan the packing, answered her questions of how best to help and told her a billion times that I loved her. Then we drove to the airport and I watched as she, without fear or hesitation, flew away into the big blue sky.

While Alyssa was gone on her trip, it became very clear to me that I had to concentrate on making my own life again. I spent many hours contemplating where I have been, where I am now and where I want my life to be in the future.

When the trip was over and it was time to pick Alyssa back up at the airport, I was there very early to ensure she wouldn't have to wait alone.

As I looked down the long, fenced off hallway that led to the gates, my eyes filled with tears. The sight before me went blurry.







I turned my head to look the other direction, but tears were now overflowing and dripping down my cheeks. When my heart is overflowing with emotion, my eyes follow suit.







An airport is filled with the opportunity for so many emotions...

Sadness.

Happiness.

Anger.

Indifference.

Relief.

When I have taken people I love to the airport to leave, I have always felt sadness and upon their return, I am always happy.

I don't like "goodbyes" or endings.

I was so excited that Alyssa was returning and I patiently waited for the plane to land as other people started gathering at the gate.







Another plane landed before Alyssa's and the place filled up as people waited and waited for the arriving passengers to make their way down the long hallway.

One by one people were greeted with lots of hugging and kissing, then they walked on towards the baggage pickup.







Eventually, I was alone again....waiting with only my thoughts to keep me company.

I thought about all the times I have cried with joy at seeing someone get off the plane after a long absence or when I was greeted after a long flight. I also recalled all the tears I have shed when someone flew away or I had left after a wonderful visit.

Airports are the best of times and the worst of times.







Checking the time on my cell phone assured me that her plane would be landing any minute even though no one else was waiting at the gate for the other passengers to arrive.

I told myself, "You will not cry when you see Alyssa. Smile and hug her, but do not cry!" I kept saying this over and over as I watched the long hallway.







When they announced that Alyssa's plane had landed and the passengers would arrive any moment at the gate, I was so excited and relieved.

My baby had landed safely after having a very smooth trip and love filled visit with the other part of her family. Then I saw her at the end of the long hallway walking closer and closer. I was suddenly all smiles and felt great gratitude for the opportunity to be her mother.

Alyssa finally made it to where I stood and I threw my arms around her tiny body and gave her a huge hug.







"Love comforteth like sunshine after rain."
— William Shakespeare

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Risky Slippers

It has become a tradition that on Christmas, Alyssa gives me slippers. This year was no exception.





The older she has become, the better she has been at choosing great slippers.





I remember Alyssa started out getting slippers that were nice, but really weren't "me" if you know what I mean. I could tell Alyssa had chosen the slippers she liked and not what she knew I would enjoy.





That was okay because it was truly the thought that mattered. It was wonderful knowing that she spent time thinking about me as she walked around the store searching for the perfect gift to express her love.





After she started working, Alyssa wanted to use her own money to buy the gift for me.





Last year she got me a pair of slippers that fit perfectly, covered my calf and have kept my feet warm all year. This year Alyssa still remembered that I like to have more of a boot slipper, but apparently she also wanted to have them be cute.

Since my nickname is "Moose," Alyssa purchased slippers that look like a moose's head.

I think they are really cute, however, they are probably two or three sizes too big for my foot. I don't really have BIG feet. I've only tried them on to take the photo tonight, but I'm thinking that if I wear them with the toes sticking out so far ahead of me, I may end up tripping.





At this point, I either need to keep the slippers and wear them even though they are too big or have her return them for a smaller size. Either way, I have to make a decision and I have to communicate it to Alyssa if I choose to have them exchanged.



Fate determines who walks into your life,
but you decide who you let walk out,
who you let stay and
who you refuse to let go."~Unknown

That quote is very profound.

People touch our lives every day. As soon as they enter our comfort zone, we make a decision to let them walk out or stay. That initial meeting is the first step in the relationship.

Once a person has been accepted into our life, several things happen...

We get to know their likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams, goals and failures, beliefs and nuances of their personality. Once again, we make a decision to let them walk out or stay.

If they stay in our life, eventually we begin to care about them. When the circumstances are right, it is possible that we might even fall in love with them. Even with all that emotion, we still have to make a decision to let them walk out or stay.

I know this scenario is sounding much simpler than it is in real life, but in a way, it is really just this simple. People are in our lives because we choose for them to share time with us. At any given point, we are continually making the decision to let them walk out or stay.

Most of the time, the subconscious is asking the question and answering it. We aren't even really totally aware that we are making a decision because we are just enjoying the relationship or are too miserable to do anything about it.

Sometimes the answer to the question can make or break us physically or emotionally. Have you ever begged someone to love you back? No? Well, if not, let me tell you that it isn't any fun. First of all, every shred of dignity you have is ripped away. Then there is the realization and total acceptance of the fact that the other person simply does not love you regardless of everything you have done in the past to prove your love for them. It doesn't matter how many years you were together or married, your efforts feel as if they were in vain. At that point, you will feel used. Memories of times spent together and sacrifices you've made in their behalf will flood your mind. Your self-esteem will hit an all time low. While you are begging for their love, you are also refusing to let go of the relationship.

During those times of unhappiness and turmoil, you may feel like you just don't have a choice. You can't imagine living without them even though you don't want to live with them. It definitely feels like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. However, it all boils down to the same basic answer..Do you let them walk out or stay?

No one can answer the question for you.

No one can make the decision for you.

The people in your life are there because you have chosen them to be there with you. When someone adds value and happiness to your life, let them know it! Subconsciously you have made the decision to let them stay. However, if sadness is hovering over your head like a black rain cloud because someone is stealing your joy, make them walk out of your life.

It is that simple and that complicated.

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For The Love Of Fred

Some experiences stick in the mind and are never far away from immediate recall. However, other memories disappear in the recesses of the brain, never to surface again after the experience is over. A couple days ago, I wrote about a memory that has stuck in my mind, shaped and molded my personality, but is not a happy thing to remember. It was traumatic and is as vivid a memory today as it was forty years ago.

There is another memory, a pleasant one, that is equally as clear as yesterday. On television, I used to watch NBC Children's Theatre and one particular Saturday there was a special called "For The Love Of Fred" with puppets by Paul and Mary Ritts. The story centered around a caterpillar that wanted to become a butterfly, but he did not know how to weave the cocoon. In the course of the show, Fred went to the doctor for help and was told he needed love. With the help of his friends (one looked like a pre-Big Bird), Fred searched for love.

One of the songs in the show was "What The World Needs Now Is Love" made popular by Jackie DeShannon.



What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love,
No not just for some but for everyone.

I was completely consumed by the story. The caterpillar was mesmerizing and had become real in my imagination. At the end, Fred actually turned into a beautiful butterfly.

I cried.

I had never, up to that point, been so caught up in a story or felt overwhelming emotions for an imaginary television character. I lived the story with Fred the caterpillar. He had become real -- more real than my paper dolls, Barbie, my Tippy-Toe doll or the tiny, plastic cowboy and Indian figures.

The moral and the caterpillar in "For The Love Of Fred" left an indelible mark on my life in many ways. I always remember the importance and value of being loved and sharing friendship. Neither are frivolous or should be taken for granted. The show taught me that true friends love, support and help whenever needed. I also learned that love, real love, is absolutely beautiful and can work miracles.



No matter where or when I hear the first notes by the baritone in the song, "What The World Needs Now Is Love", I immediately think of Fred the caterpillar. I also see the entire moment as if I was hovering above the room of my childhood home -- the first color television my parents owned, Dad's gold chair, the blue couch and Mom doing chores behind me as I sat crossed legged on the floor.

The final moments when Fred breaks out of his cocoon and is a beautiful butterfly has been so etched in my mind that I can distinctly remember the veins in the leaves on the trees where he stretched out his new butterfly wings. Even more than that, I can feel the surge of emotion as I realized that love had helped him become a butterfly.

Fred the caterpillar was determined to fulfill his dream of becoming a butterfly. No obstacle stopped him. Fred remained steadfast in his quest because he knew that his dream was possible as long as he did not give up.

Our lives today are the same as a caterpillar that turns into a butterfly. The dream can only become reality if we persevere. We must get up each time we fall because to remain face down in the dirt ensures utter failure. It is easy to remain in the dirt and give up. Having or keeping a positive outlook may feel virtually impossible, but love, friends and doctors can keep us going on the right path toward our dreams.

It's funny how one moment in our history can change everything. The moments when every sense is heightened, time stands still and then etches it in our memories like a diamond scratching a window pane. Until that moment, life was one way and then after the moment, it is all new -- sometimes better and sometimes worse. How we handle the change defines us, so for the love of Fred, do not stop dreaming and believing while on the journey.


I must be willing to give up
what I am
in order to become
what I will be.Albert Einstein

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Enduring Passionate Love

Simply put, romantic love is a feeling of intense desire and deep, tender passion for another person.


I heard what you said.
I’m not the silly romantic you think.
I don’t want the heavens or the
shooting stars.
I don’t want gemstones or gold.
I have those things already.
I want…a steady hand.
A kind soul.
I want to fall asleep, and wake,
knowing my heart is safe.
I want to love, and be loved.~Shana Abé~

Captain Corelli's Mandolin is a novel by Louis de Bernières as well as a 2001 film starring Nicolas Cage and Penélope Cruz. From the film is a definition of romantic love...

"When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are to become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away."

Yes, love is discussed daily, read about in books, watched in movies and listened to in music...

You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs.
But I look around me and I see it isn't so.
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs.
And what's wrong with that?
I'd like to know, cause here I go again
I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you,
I can't explain the feelings plain to me, say can't you see?
Ah, she gave me more, she gave it all to me
Now can't you see,
What's wrong with that
I need to know, cause here I go again
I love you, I love you

Love doesn't come in a minute,
Sometimes it doesn't come at all
I only know that when I'm in it
It isn't silly, no, it isn't silly, love isn't silly at all.

How can I tell you about my loved one?
How can I tell you about my loved one?

How can I tell you about my loved one?
(I love you)
How can I tell you about my loved one?
(I love you)
I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you
You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs.
But I look around me and I see it isn't so.
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs.
And what's wrong with that?

And what's wrong with that?

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Loving People By Halves

"There is nothing I would not do
for those who are really my friends.
I have no notion of loving people by halves,
it is not my nature."
~Jane Austen~

In so many ways, I am Erica Barry in the movie, "Something's Gotta Give." It is a story about Barry (Jack Nicholson) who has been a player and confirmed bachelor on the cusp of being a senior citizen. However, he has always dated younger women and then he meets Erica (Diane Keaton), an accomplished woman closer to his age.

There is a poignant part in the movie where Harry breaks up with Erica and the following is the dialogue afterwards:

Erica Barry: [Erica kisses Harry] This is heartbroken. How's that for impervious.

Harry: You're killing me.

Erica Barry: I just wish that it had lasted more than a week.

Harry: Me too.

Erica Barry: That is a terrible thing to say. You know, the life I had before you, I knew how to do THAT. I could do THAT forever. But now look at me. What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do with all this?

Erica Barry is stating the same basic thought as Jane Austen which is how do you love someone by halves, a little bit, not wholeheartedly or sometimes?

I think love is...

...The look found on a mother's face while she watches her children play. Motherhood is a lifetime role and doesn't end just because the child grows up.

...Service without thinking of it as an interruption or sacrifice.

...Saying the words "I love you" because you know the other person needs to hear them.

...Doing the little things for the person to show you care about them.

...Worth the effort and loving someone will mold you into a better person.

...Missing the person when they are away from you whether it be for a day or for the rest of your life on earth.

So I ask, "How can you love a friend or family member by halves?"

You either love someone or you don't and there isn't any halves to it.

Love is beautiful and the emotion permeates throughout a relationship lifting it to realm where evil can not touch. It is a place where families find a haven and a friend's shoulder to cry on is only a moment away.

I love entirely and have never bought into the idea of loving a little bit which is why I get my heart broken so easily. But I am who I am and I'll take that over being bitter, sour and unloving any day.

How do you feel about the concept of loving people by halves? Can you do it? Can you love people just a little bit?






This is the weekly post where I spotlight my Rockin' Friends who are the Top Nine active participants and loyal followers in my community! If you want to be mentioned here next week, then all it takes is to come in and start chatting with everyone in my community.

With a big thank you for their participation and friendship, here are the Rockin' Friends this week in order of most participation:

• Bev at EBlebco.com


• Katlupe at Homesteading on the Internet


• Marlene at Marlene's Many Hats


• Kim at The Zany Housewife


• Aleta at Paws For Thought


• Deb at Just Short Of Crazy


• Suzanne at One Thousand Gifts


• Diane at Rodan and Fields Dermatologists Skin Care


• Kristi at The Child Sensitive Communication Grid

I'm so glad that I've been able to become friends with these lovely ladies who are so active in my community. I encourage you to add their blogs to your blogroll, but also come over and chat with us in my community.

For everyone mentioned in the top nine this week, feel free to grab the Rockin' Friend badge below (Yeah, we do crazy poses like that too because we are stylish LOL) and thank you for your participation!!





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Until the spotlight next week...Happy Chatting Rockin' Friends!

Don't forget to add your blog URL to the Linky at Woo Us To Your Blog and learn blogging tips that will help you have a polished blog and to increase your traffic! This week it is all about analyzing load time! No, I'm not talking about putting the groceries into your vehicle. It's about your blog! Do you know the secrets?

Until next week...Kiss your family, hug your friends and don't forget to be the friend you would like to have around.

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Olive You

Men and women communicate differently especially when it relates to matters of the heart. I'm going to be really blunt ladies...Men do more and say less to express love, so don't hold your breath for those three words that make your heart beat so hard that it breaks the stitches in your bra.

Saying "I love you" is very easy for women because they are usually all wordy anyway. Men on the other hand like to fix and do things to express their love emotions.

I know all women just skimmed through that without hardly a thought and men were saying, "Yeah, this woman has got it right!" That's why I'm going to repeat myself. Men DO stuff for women to show love, devotion and commitment.

I know, I know. You want to HEAR the words. Yeah, those words are nice, but hadn't you rather hear them less frequently, but know that he is REALLY feeling love deep enough to say it?

Ways Men Say "I Love You" Without Words

Men do so many things for women that I think often go unnoticed and unappreciated. On behalf of men everywhere, I would like to list a few of the labors of love that women should take the time to notice.

Day after day, he takes out the trash. No, he doesn't wash the trashcan, but he doesn't even notice the hardened jelly and smeared peanut butter left behind from the bag that split because you over stuffed it.

The clock alarm goes off and he drags himself to a job where he makes money to help support the family.

The lawn is neatly manicured and he puts the cow manure in the flower bed so that you don't mess up your freshly manicured nails.

You crawl into the bed, plant your cold feet on his legs and all he does is suck in a deep breath.

He lets you tell him what to buy you for your birthday, anniversary and Christmas in spite of the fact that you drag him from store to store for eight hours on a Saturday that he doesn't have to work.

The car is filled with gas, the oil changed, windshield wipers smooth against the glass, and the whole car remains clean.

He buys you cards and flowers even though he thinks they are a frivolous waste of money.

Tires on the car are filled with the correct amount of air and the little black caps cover the spot where air is put into the tire.

He checks the house when you are scared of a strange noise that you know must be a burglar.

When you are giving birth to his children, he provides emotional support while you scream, "It is all your fault!"

He always says that you are beautiful. Yes, he says it more when he wants to make passionate love to you, but he wants to make love to YOU. Don't forgot that part.

The next time you feel a little low or unloved because you need to hear the words of emotion, all you have to do is ask him. A man wants to please his spouse, so give him the benefit of the doubt. As long as you don't expect to hear it every hour, he will oblige and say, "Olive you."

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Why You Should Love

"You got to chase a dream,
one that's all your own
Before it slips away
When you're flyin' high,
take my heart along"

"When You Come Back Down" by Nickel Creek

It begins with a dream.

So you start living your own dream.

You find love while dreaming.

So you love.

You love with all your heart.

Then you lose or find your love was never returned.

Pain fills your being.

Your heart breaks.

If feels like failure and rejection.

You vow to never love again.


Have you been there? You hurt so badly that you don't think you ever want to try again to find real love. The risk of more pain is too great, so you close yourself up. It feels safe.

What Is The Meaning Of Love?

Love is both a "noun" and a "verb" meaning that it is a "thing" and an "action."

Love as a noun: a profoundly tender, passionate affection/emotion for another person associated with a warm feeling of personal attachment or deep affection

Love as a verb: to have, need or require a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; to cherish

Love is not passive.

How Does Love Look?

Loving others is a very unselfish act because we put the needs and desires of another before our own. We often dig deep into ourselves and do things that seem impossible or are just unpleasant such as the following to name just a few:

• Lift a car to release someone under it after a crash
• Rescue someone from a burning building
• Stay up all night with a child that has the flu
• Clean the house, cook meals, wash-dry-fold-iron laundry, etc.
• Take care of a dying or disabled parent, spouse or child
• Drive an old car, so that your spouse or children can have cars too
• Repair the car, change the oil and clean the inside
• Go to a job you hate so that you can provide for the family

Falling in love initially is quite physical, but when the hormones calm down, there has to be "love work" in order to have a lasting relationship. Love between parent and child is another type of relationship that begins with the parent doing everything for a baby that can't do anything for himself. Although the "love work" doesn't feel like a sacrifice because of the happiness a child brings to the family, it still requires you to give up time and energy to another person.

Why Is Love Worth It?

While giving so much of yourself to other people and in the process loving them and showing love to them, you become a better person because you develop:

• Unselfishness
• Compassion
• Tolerance
• Patience
• Forgiveness
• Creativity

The person you love carries a little bit of your heart with them where ever they go and it can bring them comfort, reassurance, peace and courage. Even if the relationship ends, the journey educated and cultivated your better self.

Don't ever regret loving someone.

Take your dreams and wrap them with love. Circumstance and time will change not only the dreams, but also the love. You will change! Know that the process of change will happen and enjoy the love and the moments while you're in them.

Dream.

Love.

Dream of love and be open to accepting the love back into your life.

Love will make you a better person and dreams will keep you flying high.

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