Risky Slippers

It has become a tradition that on Christmas, Alyssa gives me slippers. This year was no exception.





The older she has become, the better she has been at choosing great slippers.





I remember Alyssa started out getting slippers that were nice, but really weren't "me" if you know what I mean. I could tell Alyssa had chosen the slippers she liked and not what she knew I would enjoy.





That was okay because it was truly the thought that mattered. It was wonderful knowing that she spent time thinking about me as she walked around the store searching for the perfect gift to express her love.





After she started working, Alyssa wanted to use her own money to buy the gift for me.





Last year she got me a pair of slippers that fit perfectly, covered my calf and have kept my feet warm all year. This year Alyssa still remembered that I like to have more of a boot slipper, but apparently she also wanted to have them be cute.

Since my nickname is "Moose," Alyssa purchased slippers that look like a moose's head.

I think they are really cute, however, they are probably two or three sizes too big for my foot. I don't really have BIG feet. I've only tried them on to take the photo tonight, but I'm thinking that if I wear them with the toes sticking out so far ahead of me, I may end up tripping.





At this point, I either need to keep the slippers and wear them even though they are too big or have her return them for a smaller size. Either way, I have to make a decision and I have to communicate it to Alyssa if I choose to have them exchanged.



Fate determines who walks into your life,
but you decide who you let walk out,
who you let stay and
who you refuse to let go."~Unknown

That quote is very profound.

People touch our lives every day. As soon as they enter our comfort zone, we make a decision to let them walk out or stay. That initial meeting is the first step in the relationship.

Once a person has been accepted into our life, several things happen...

We get to know their likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams, goals and failures, beliefs and nuances of their personality. Once again, we make a decision to let them walk out or stay.

If they stay in our life, eventually we begin to care about them. When the circumstances are right, it is possible that we might even fall in love with them. Even with all that emotion, we still have to make a decision to let them walk out or stay.

I know this scenario is sounding much simpler than it is in real life, but in a way, it is really just this simple. People are in our lives because we choose for them to share time with us. At any given point, we are continually making the decision to let them walk out or stay.

Most of the time, the subconscious is asking the question and answering it. We aren't even really totally aware that we are making a decision because we are just enjoying the relationship or are too miserable to do anything about it.

Sometimes the answer to the question can make or break us physically or emotionally. Have you ever begged someone to love you back? No? Well, if not, let me tell you that it isn't any fun. First of all, every shred of dignity you have is ripped away. Then there is the realization and total acceptance of the fact that the other person simply does not love you regardless of everything you have done in the past to prove your love for them. It doesn't matter how many years you were together or married, your efforts feel as if they were in vain. At that point, you will feel used. Memories of times spent together and sacrifices you've made in their behalf will flood your mind. Your self-esteem will hit an all time low. While you are begging for their love, you are also refusing to let go of the relationship.

During those times of unhappiness and turmoil, you may feel like you just don't have a choice. You can't imagine living without them even though you don't want to live with them. It definitely feels like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. However, it all boils down to the same basic answer..Do you let them walk out or stay?

No one can answer the question for you.

No one can make the decision for you.

The people in your life are there because you have chosen them to be there with you. When someone adds value and happiness to your life, let them know it! Subconsciously you have made the decision to let them stay. However, if sadness is hovering over your head like a black rain cloud because someone is stealing your joy, make them walk out of your life.

It is that simple and that complicated.

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The Guy, The Bush, The Bee And The End

The Guy

Perfection is not a requirement. I thought I would just put it out there so that you can really get your mind around that fact.

I don't know if you've noticed it, but there are a whole lot of beautiful women and handsome men inhabiting this planet. On top of that, there are people who are abounding in knowledge and talent.

I'm sure you've heard the saying, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Well, it is true and it is a good thing too.

I was talking to Joan on the phone the other day and we were looking at some things on Twitter together. There was a photo of a guy on one of the threads and she said, "Don't you think he's cute?"

"No," I said.

"No?! Really?"

Joan was so surprised I thought I had missed something, so I reopened the web page and looked at the guy again.

"Really Joan, I don't think he is cute at all. He just looks like a regular guy," I said more sure of my answer this time.

"Really?" she exclaimed in a half-hearted question that didn't require an answer.

Joan thought the guy in the photo was just gorgeous and I thought he was regular. That is a good thing! We are all different which means we find beauty, enjoyment and satisfaction in a wide range of people and activities.

There are architects, photographers, politicians, seamstresses, cosmetologists, farmers, lawyers, dog groomers, blue eyes, brown eyes, green eyes, and black, brown, blonde, white, gray and red hair...and the list of our diversities simply goes on and on and on. Our differences is what keeps life interesting.

The Bush

There is a huge bush in our neighborhood that has thousands of flowers on it when it blooms in the springtime. At first glance, all the flowers appear to be exactly the same. I'm sure if we put them under a microscope, each flower would be completely unique.

The fragrance of the flower is stinky to me and there is so much pollen, it is quite messy too. Even with all the negatives about the bush, I still like it.

For a moment, lets pretend that the bush is our planet and the flowers are women. At a certain age, women begin to find men appealing. When the "I want to have children and get married" feeling hits, women bloom and hope that the right bee will arrive and gather her pollen.

The Bee

There are so many other beautiful women, but we cling to the hope of THE right bee coming along some day.

One day THE bee flies over and all the flowers get excited. THE bee stops and gets a little pollen from the flower on the other limb and then moves over to the flower on another limb. Suddenly, THE bee sees me and stops to gather my pollen. I see nothing except THE bee. He is the most handsome bee I have ever seen in my whole life.

"Oh sweet flower. Let me have your sweet nectar," THE bee whispers to me in a voice like Pepé Le Pew, the French skunk in my childhood cartoon days. "I think you are the most beautiful flower on the whole bush."

"You do?" I asked.

"Yes! I have never been with a more delightful flower and I only want your pollen forever," THE bee says wooing me.

Without another thought, I give THE bee my pollen thinking that my happiness will never end.

THE bee stays with me and makes sure that ever bit of the pollen he has collected is safe. When there is no more of my sweet nectar, he bids me farewell and flies away.





I am devastated.

I have no pollen left and THE bee is hovering over another flower.





Like the flower, women wait for THE man...the one and only Mr. Right. Inside we are grateful for Mr. Right and since living with him has been our lifelong goal, we do all the right things - cook, clean, make money, have children, ensure he is completely taken care of and happy.

Then one day, Mr. Right becomes Mr. Wrong. Maybe he becomes physically or verbally abusive, has sexual relationships with other women, quits providing financially, neglects us or many other things that are just not what he promised.

Many women stay with Mr. Wrong.

The End

There are a million reasons that women stay with men that mistreat them and men that stay with women that mistreat them. One of the main reasons is fear. They are afraid that no other man or woman will want to share their life. Another is they are afraid that they cannot support themselves in the manner they have become accustomed.

I totally do not believe that "no other man or woman will want to share their life." That is just phooey. There are billions of men and women! It is silly to think that NO ONE is ever going to find you attractive or interesting again. Now the flip side is that maybe you don't want to try again. That is okay too, but I just want to make the point that you ARE still desirable and worthy of love.

Yeah, I said the "L" word.

The second fear of "not being able to support themselves in the manner they have become accustomed" is unfortunately, often the cold, hard truth. If you put your husband or wife through school and didn't finish your own education because you were home raising children, you definitely are at a disadvantage.

HOWEVER, IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE YOUR REALITY FOREVER.

Let me use my mother as an example. I'm sure she won't mind.

My mother stayed home while my father worked at a very good job. Mom did not have any specialized education, so when they divorced, it was scary. Since Mom was an excellent seamstress, she made clothes and wedding dresses in the evenings and weekends. During the week, Mom was trained in a profession. It was rough. It was scary. We did not live in the same lifestyle that we had always lived, however, we were happy. In the end, after many years of working, Mom earned a wonderful income...even more than my father.





No matter how horrible you feel now, please do not believe that it is hopeless. You are unique and can make dreams come true. Okay, maybe you can't have the dream come true with Mr. Right who turned into Mr. Wrong, but you can be successful.

The first step...You have to believe it. You have to believe it until you know it.

Do you see the computer monitor? Can you feel it? Do you know it exists? Are you sure?

Yes?

That is how much you have to believe in yourself and know that you can succeed.

Will it be easy?

Probably not. It will probably be very difficult. Sometimes it will be extremely hard.

Is it possible?

Yes! Yes! Yes! Just don't give up and keep believing in yourself.


"You never fail until you stop trying."Albert Einstein

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Richard Gere, Keanu Reeves And George Clooney At My Doctor's Appointment

I thought I was going to be the highlight of The Guinness Book Of World Records for my brain exploding like an atomic bomb, but it didn't happen.

For a little history, everyone in my family is plagued with migraine headaches except for me. I am thrilled that I was left out of THAT family trait. I also don't ever get headaches. Well, I rarely ever have a headache, but for the past three days I've had a serious pain throbbing by entire brain.

Not a migraine.

Not allergy induced.

Not the lack of food or the wrong food.

Not sinus problems.

It was just a headache that constantly pounded hard especially when I leaned down even if only slightly. Each time the headache pulsed, it forced my head to expand twelve inches all the way around.

Okay, so it didn't really make my head expand, but that is the way it felt.

Since I am a doctor, I was sure that it must be my blood pressure.

Okay, so I'm not a doctor either, but don't even try to tell me that you don't self-diagnose your problems.

Since I already had an appointment with my regular doctor today, I thought I would just tell her about it.

There is always a little pre-planning before I go to any doctor appointment because I make sure that everything is just right...

My underclothes are matching.

Armpits and legs are shaved smooth as silk.

Nails are all the same length.

My entire body is covered with lotion.

Yes, I am obsessive, but I don't want to look like I neglect the only body I am ever going be able to call my own. Plus, I never know how much of my body is going to actually be seen.

Anyway, I see the doctor and my blood pressure is perfect even though I am sitting there with an exploding headache. To make sure that nothing is totally out of whack, the doctor orders my blood to be drawn and sent for analysis.

Lovely.

No, it isn't really lovely because I often faint when my blood is taken.

Are you laughing or rolling your eyes? I can't help it! Blood coming out of my body and filling tubes is just sickening!

Anyway, the doctor directs me to the waiting room reserved for people who need x-rays or blood work.

It was just a narrow and boring semi-room.

To the right was the room I just came out of, the x-ray room and the nurses' station.

To the left was (insert Jaws music) the office of the nurse who would be sucking the blood from my veins with a needle.



Just as I sit down, I see a VERY nice looking man with a slim bag saunter into the room with the nurse. I can hear everything they say and since I had nothing better to do, I sat listening like a spy in a James Bond movie.

The man starts talking about the weather and exclaims, "I'm from Florida, so just show me the sun."

"Ha! Ha! Ha!" laughs the nurse in the nervous laugh women have when they are around a very sexy man. Don't even pretend! You know exactly which laugh!.

The conversation about the weather, their spouses, children and cars seems to last forever. Just when I start wondering why in the heck this man is monopolizing the Vampire Nurse, they start talking about pharmaceutical supplies.

Ahhhhhh, yes. I finally understood who this guy was and why he was so handsome. The most handsome and charismatic men are those that work for pharmaceutical companies and visit doctors' offices! Ladies, tell me you know I'm right!

For another five minutes, I just sat quietly and waited.

After the man leaves, the Vampire Nurse calls my name. Since her cheeks are flushed and I have heard her laughing for the last fifteen minutes, I figured Vampire Nurse was going to be a good mood.

I sat down in the funny chair and told her that I have a tendency to faint, but if she talks while she is drawing the blood, the chances that it will happen lessen dramatically. I figured this would be easy for the Vampire Nurse because she has been having a jolly good time chatting with the handsome man.

Apparently, the handsome man took Vampire Nurse's voice and good mood with him. She stuck my arm and didn't say a word until she was almost finished taking out 500 vials of blood. I may be exaggerating the number of vials, but not by much.

I didn't faint because my mind was so occupied with the dramatic change in the Vampire Nurse's mood which went from giggling and flushed woman to totally silent, non-smiling nurse.

Aren't we such funny creatures? My new prayer is, "Please don't ever let me giggle like a school girl when I'm with handsome men."

On a side note...a few hours later, my headache went away. Maybe it was because I kept thinking about the handsome man that looked like Richard Gere, Keanu Reeves and George Clooney all rolled into one body...and what a wonderful body.

Like I said, we are funny creatures.

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Chuckle of the Day - Geography of a Woman & Man

Geography of a Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well-developed and open to trade, especially for something of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past..

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet, wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.




Geography of a Man

Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran, ruled by nuts.

AP Photo/Mehr News, Sajjad Safari)

I have too many friends that are men, so it is best if I do not comment.

(silently laughing my head off)

Relax! It is just a joke!

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Olive You

Men and women communicate differently especially when it relates to matters of the heart. I'm going to be really blunt ladies...Men do more and say less to express love, so don't hold your breath for those three words that make your heart beat so hard that it breaks the stitches in your bra.

Saying "I love you" is very easy for women because they are usually all wordy anyway. Men on the other hand like to fix and do things to express their love emotions.

I know all women just skimmed through that without hardly a thought and men were saying, "Yeah, this woman has got it right!" That's why I'm going to repeat myself. Men DO stuff for women to show love, devotion and commitment.

I know, I know. You want to HEAR the words. Yeah, those words are nice, but hadn't you rather hear them less frequently, but know that he is REALLY feeling love deep enough to say it?

Ways Men Say "I Love You" Without Words

Men do so many things for women that I think often go unnoticed and unappreciated. On behalf of men everywhere, I would like to list a few of the labors of love that women should take the time to notice.

Day after day, he takes out the trash. No, he doesn't wash the trashcan, but he doesn't even notice the hardened jelly and smeared peanut butter left behind from the bag that split because you over stuffed it.

The clock alarm goes off and he drags himself to a job where he makes money to help support the family.

The lawn is neatly manicured and he puts the cow manure in the flower bed so that you don't mess up your freshly manicured nails.

You crawl into the bed, plant your cold feet on his legs and all he does is suck in a deep breath.

He lets you tell him what to buy you for your birthday, anniversary and Christmas in spite of the fact that you drag him from store to store for eight hours on a Saturday that he doesn't have to work.

The car is filled with gas, the oil changed, windshield wipers smooth against the glass, and the whole car remains clean.

He buys you cards and flowers even though he thinks they are a frivolous waste of money.

Tires on the car are filled with the correct amount of air and the little black caps cover the spot where air is put into the tire.

He checks the house when you are scared of a strange noise that you know must be a burglar.

When you are giving birth to his children, he provides emotional support while you scream, "It is all your fault!"

He always says that you are beautiful. Yes, he says it more when he wants to make passionate love to you, but he wants to make love to YOU. Don't forgot that part.

The next time you feel a little low or unloved because you need to hear the words of emotion, all you have to do is ask him. A man wants to please his spouse, so give him the benefit of the doubt. As long as you don't expect to hear it every hour, he will oblige and say, "Olive you."

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My Fingers Quiver On Your Skin

"I need to catch my breath
with you sometimes

Cause I... get dizzy
when your body's touching mine"

Why do we fall in love?

The age old philosophy that we fall in love to propagate the species, still holds true. It is a basic drive like eating, drinking, breathing and having shelter. As humans, we seek after the companionship and the feeling that being with someone can give to us, but more to ensure that we continue our species. The craving to "belong" to someone often borders on an addiction.

You may laugh and think "addiction?" Oh no, not me! The hormones are what causes the butterflies in your stomach, the desire to hold hands, the thrill of being kissed, grabbing the phone when it rings and texting or talking on the phone until one in the morning. The hormone levels are elevated and so is the the thrill created from the attention.

Right or wrong, the physical philosophy (the survival of the fittest) seems to still hold true. Humans subconsciously want to have children and a partner as we go through the experience of life. Men subconsciously seek after women who look like they can bear his children. At the same time, women are looking for a man that can give her strong children and take care of her. Funny how the brain works.

What happens when we fall in love?

Helen Fisher, a research professor at Rutgers University, believes that the happiness, euphoria, energy and sleeplessness we feel at the beginning of a relationship is the "result of elevated levels of dopamine and norepinephrine" which kicks into overdrive.

That hormonal onslaught continues until the couple has time to reach a stable plateau which is necessary to raise children. During this sensible time of love, the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin cause a couple to stay together strengthening the bond with other things such as trust, honesty, and communication to name a few.

Why do we/should we have sex?

Another hormone that adds to the love factor is pheromones which are substances secreted by an organism and recognized by others through undetected smells that produce responses such as those felt during times of fear, sex or aggression.

Sex, sleeping together, rolling in the hay (my parents did this often - secrets out!), making love, sleeping with each other, knowing someone, being intimate, having intercourse, copulating, mating, making whoopee, and getting it on (Marvin Gaye's choice - I love that song!!!!) all mean the same thing. That by all means is not a full list for this very popular event. Hmmm, is it an event?

Why exactly do we have sex? Here are a few reasons:

• The obvious reason is to have babies - propagation of the species!
• Reduces the risk of heart attack and stroke. Specifically, men who have sex three times a week will cut his chances of heart disease in half.
• Men also have a decreased chance of prostate cancer if they have regular sex.
• Reduces stress. Will help to eliminate the cramps in your muscles and headaches.
• Reduces depression. When having sex without a condom, it is believed that the male prostoglandin (found in the semen) is absorbed by the woman's body thus helping to keep her hormones more level. I wonder if this would eliminate the Witchy Poo nagging factor?
• Sex keeps away wrinkles. According to Dr. David Weeks, a clinical neuropsychologist at Scotland's Royal Edinburgh Hospital, reported from his studies that having sex four times a week can help you look ten years younger. Gasp! As we age (there's that aging thing again), our testosterone levels decrease. By having regular sex, those levels are elevated thus helping to regenerate muscle tissue and bone. I think I might go buy the doctor's book called "Secrets of the Superyoung."
• Because of the increase in oxytocin and endorphins released after sex, the euphoria will stave off aches and pains. Does that mean sex is a drug?(wink)
• Induces better and sounder sleep.
• Ever heard of Kegel exercises? Well, strengthen everything in the pelvic area at one time for more control of the other functions which will keep you out of Depends longer! It also helps to prevent vaginal atrophy. Oh my goodness! Did I just say that word on my blog?! (blush)
• Women who do not take the birth control pill and who also have regular sex will enjoy more regular menstrual cycles.
• Thirty minutes of having sex burns 200 calories. Definitely the only exercise I enjoy!
• Keeps your muscles firmed especially the tummy and buns. I guess that means I need to have more sex because my tummy definitely isn't flat enough!
• Having sex once or twice a week according to researchers at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania will boost the immune system by 30 percent because of the increase in the antibody called immunoglobulin A. Does that count as taking vitamins? (wink)
• Goodbye Mr. Lonely. Yep, having sex with your loving partner helps to rid you of those lonely feelings.
• Enhances the ability to smell. After a pleasurable romp in the sheets there is a surge in the hormone prolactin which enhances our ability to smell.
• Increases creativity. Hey, yeah! After being married a long time, you've got to get creative to avoid the boring factor. Here's a few suggestions, but Mom, you have to close your eyes and don't read this part - upside down and hanging off the bed; doing it in the car trunk; on the dining room table; in a swing; in the shower; in an elevator; under the stairs of a public building; in the pool; and in the jacuzzi. For the record, I'm pleading the 5th Amendment and admitting nothing!
• The best reason of all to make love is because it helps to increase the intimacy and communication in the couple.

Finding the person to click with the rest of your life might take time and effort, but in the end, well worth all that is invested. Falling in love and having sex are wonderful experiences. The racing heart and heightened awareness with your lover is almost beyond explanation. It feels...all over wonderful...heart, mind, soul and body wonderful.

Yes, I know the feeling...

Quick intake of breath as he enters the room.

Nothing else exists.

Just me and him.

Happiness floods the senses.

Our lips meet and my fingers quiver on his skin.

"The way you move is
much too sexy baby
So I... surrender to your
hands, your lips, your taste
And I'm telling you tonight
You got me defenseless,
intoxicated senseless"

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What Makes A Man Hot or Sexy?

We learn from very early in our childhood that there is a definite difference between men and women. I don't believe we really realize how vast those differences are until we are older and then some women, well, they never quite get it which is why they nag. That is my opinion, of course.

Because I want my daughter to always remember that she was conceived by two people in love, I am going to talk about her father (my ex-husband) as it pertains to the HF - also known as the Hot Factor which could also be called the Sexy Factor. I'm sure he won't mind a bit.

When I met Alyssa's father, Evan, we were both very young. I was a studious, conservative, naive young woman and he was an older, well-traveled, very tanned, muscled "man" with a mustache, a little scar next to his eye and thick, curly, dark hair. He reminds me of the rugged actor named Tom Selleck. Anyway, I was mesmerized by his brawn and strength which was amplified because of my pale, frail, feminine appearance. We were total opposites like night and day.

I thought Evan was "hot" in every sense of the word as did many other women of all ages which was evidenced every time we went shopping, to church or school. Women stared and he was totally oblivious.

Alyssa seems to think that her parents have been "old" forever, so I have included a few pictures to remind her that her Dad was once young, perceived as "hot" and quite a catch by many.

What makes a man hot?

Let's see...a flannel shirt in the middle of summer, leather pants in a 102 degree desert...No! Not that kind of hot!

The HF (Hot Factor) is different for every woman and it changes as we get older.

Right?

Maybe so and maybe not.

I have been and always will be a sucker for a tough, manly man wearing tight fitting jeans, a flannel shirt and rugged mountain boots. But then again, a dark business suit, white shirt and loosened silk tie is equally as appealing.

One time I read (no I don't remember where, so you don't have to believe me) that the majority of women found men in a pair of blue jeans and fitted white t-shirt was the sexiest look for men. Funny, huh?

As I have gotten older, I've found more things than just appearance make a man hot and high on the HF (Hot Factor) scale. Here are a few of those traits listed in no particular order:

• Confidence - When a man is confident, it is evident not only in his body language, but also his choices and actions
  
• Unselfishness
• Can play a musical instrument
  
• Humility - He can admit his own faults and makes no excuses for them
  
• Gentlemanliness
  
• Intelligent
• Doesn't talk incessantly
  
• Enjoys being a Father - A man who will change a diaper, read books, play Frisbee and teach his children to ride the bike
• Eye Contact - He looks at you in the eye when he's listening and speaking
• Sense of Humor
• Has a great singing voice
  
• Doesn't mind getting dirty because he is handy - He can fix the car, mow the lawn and grow a garden and all the while he is dripping with sweat
• Knows when to get clean and put his best foot forward
  
• Wears cologne, but not too much of it
• Sensitive to children, women, the elderly, people who are ill and anyone in need
• Smiles
• Cooks
  
• Doesn't mind cleaning up the house and washing clothes
• Conversationalist - He is interesting to talk to and can carry on a topic appropriate conversation
  
• Trustworthy
• Strong
• Dances well

Do I think one man will or can be all those things? Um...No! There is no such a thing as a perfect man just as there is not a perfect woman.

So ladies, but most importantly Alyssa. Do not search for the perfect man, but decide ahead of time the things that are the most important traits you want in a husband and don't settle. I didn't settle with your Dad even though I was blown away because he ranked high on the physical HF (Hot Factor) scale. I knew he was a good man and that was hot too.

I will say it again...Do not settle for someone just because they are the only person asking you out right now or the only guy you know your age or any other of the numberless reasons you can concoct in your head.

If you are going to get married for-ev-er and you want to be happy, choose your partner wisely. Don't be so overwhelmed by their hotness that you abandon all rational thinking.

If you are already with your partner and it feels like it has been forever (just kidding), take the time to remember why you thought he was hot to begin with and rekindle those emotions. Your husband's will thank me - uh - I mean, your husband's will thank you.

Now it is your turn to spill your guts. What do you think makes a man hot? What do you find hot about your partner?

Disclaimer: My ex-husband did not threaten my life or pay me to write this post (laughing hysterically at my own joke!)

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Manly Communication Epiphany

I had an epiphany last night while I was tweeting. For those of you that do not have Twitter (a fantastic social media tool), tweets are 140 character messages that you send to a specific person or to anyone reading the stream of chatting.

I wasn't just sending out random sentences - I had actual conversations with other people, but some of my tweets went like this...

Once I get home, my motor is running and I'm happy as a June bug in the hot sunshine

1 down and 4 to go!!! Wednesday is going to be 90 degrees! I can't believe it!

I want to do so many things that are really great ideas, but I run out of time every day. I need employees...chef, housekeeper, secretary..

How Bout Them #Cowboys!!!! GIDDDDDYUP!

I ♥ snow and can't ski. Probably a good thing since I'm so prone to accidents.

Redheads are awesome ~ especially women! ... Just in case you didn't already know that very important fact :o)

My screen keeps doing a funky flash thing! It is irritating me :o(

Stop dreaming every second of the day of a different life and enjoy the one you have before it is gone.

That's when the world stopped spinning and everyone on the planet stood still. Do you recall when that happened? My next tweet could be the catalyst that ends all arguing between men and women. This is the tweet verbatim...

Advantage of Twitter: 140 characters is the length of speaking women should use when talking to men They like the facts without fluff. :o)

Think about it for just a minute.

Women talk so much that there is a common knowledge joke of "Yes, Dear." Surely you've heard that one or maybe you use it.

Imagine if all women talked to men in segments of 140 characters or less, the problem of losing a man's attention would be non-existent! No arguments either because not one woman would have to say, "Are you listening to me?" since the length of the woman's conversation would not go over the amount of time men have the ability to be alert and listening.

No cut to men.

Actually, no cut to women either.

We all have value and our differences make us interesting, so no offense meant to anyone. Just my fact filled opinion which must be right since I'm a redhead (wink). If you don't understand that sentence, befriend a redhead and it won't take you long to be in-the-know.

If it would make the men feel better and improve communications, I think women should adhere to the 140 character limit during conversations with the handsome gender. I know you are probably thinking that I surely can't be a woman, but let me assure you that I am! I'm just a tad bit different than many women. As a matter of fact, the guys at lunch think I have so many "manly attitudes" that they nicknamed me Steve. I told them if I was going to have a man's name, I wanted to have some input, so I renamed myself with a first and middle name - Steve Emerson. Anyway, my point is that I can feel the dilemma men often find themselves in during conversations with women that they communicate with on a daily basis! Sometimes even I want to say, "Shhh woman!" because the chatter is never ending about the most MUNDANE things - at least to me and many men.

Can I get a High Five men?

I mean really, I can only listen to conversations about shopping deals, haircuts and makeup for a limited amount of time. It remains interesting to me in smaller bites and I think men are somewhat the same way. That is why 140 character conversations between men and women would work so great!

Let's try it.

Woman: Honey, I need you to do something for me?

Man: (silence, but you can hear the roar of a football game in the background)

STOP LADIES! You just made a huge mistake. Choose the time you talk to your man with care and consideration for his ability to concentrate on the thoughts and words you are trying to convey. Take my word for it...During a football game is NOT the time.

Let's try it again.

Three hours later when the football game is over and the man is flipping from channel to channel on the television without any interest in any of them...yet...so don't take too long to start up the conversation.

Woman: Honey, I need you to do something for me?

Man: Yeah?

Woman: Would you take out the trash?

Man: Sure. (He makes no movement and is still sitting on the couch.)

Woman: When?

Man: When do you want me to take it out?

Woman: Now! I have a whole group of ladies from the school coming over and I've been cooking a ton of stuff for the luncheon and there are all kinds of cans, peels, and paper that I had to throw in the trash and it smells so stinky because I used an onion when I was baking the chicken and then I had to make those little sandwiches for the children because they won't like the...Honey? Do you hear me?

Man: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz along with loud snoring sounds.

Now who do you blame for the trash not being taken out?

No, no, no! You can't blame the man! He doesn't care about anything the woman said after the word "now!" If she had stopped after the first word, his attention wouldn't have disappeared. He couldn't help it. She was being bor-ing!

Let's try the end of that conversation again.

Man: When do you want me to take it out?

Woman: Now! (Hold you tongue! Don't say anything else! Nothing!)

Man: I'll do it in ten minutes.

Okay, I said the communication would be better, but I didn't say that men would do everything you wanted them to do, when you wanted them to do it and how you wanted it done.

It was an epiphany, not a miracle!





Embracing my masculine side,



a.k.a. Steve Emerson at lunch

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Chuckle of the Day - Women Adapt

Being a woman is a tough job, but millions of us succeed at it every day. Because we've learned the art of multitasking, women are often taken for granted.

Such a pity.

It is a shame that our skills are not recognized, admired or held in high esteem by men in general.

No, I did not say ALL men. Just men in general.

I think men would be so much happier if they understood one simple concept and then did everything they could to ensure that their actions are not the catalyst for the following transformation in women.

That would be women in general, of course.

Thankfully, that leaves me out.

You'll have to let us know if it leaves you out too or if you are one of those "women in general" that I discussed.

I really can't imagine this concept applying to anyone who reads this blog.

In case you didn't know...

Women are Angels

And when someone
breaks our wings





We simply continue to fly...

On a broomstick.

We are flexible like that.

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Cougar - Animal or Older Woman?

If you're a country music fan, I'm sure you've heard the song by the group Alabama that has a song with the lyrics, "Older women are beautiful lovers."


Keep that little tidbit of information in the back of your mind for a minute and I hope that I didn't just lose all the male readers to that first sentence.

How many times have we seen an older man with a younger woman? This has truly become a common sight and TOTALLY accepted.

Why is it so readily accepted?

Uhhh, I think it is because men rule the world and made the rule. The somewhat "official" reasoning has something to do with child bearing. Last night I saw a fifty-five year old woman have a baby, so how does THAT reason hold up?

(clearing my throat and smiling)

On the flip side, there is now actually a name for an older woman who dates a younger man and I'm not so sure I dig it. The name to which I refer is associated with a wild animal called a Cougar. Let's see if the aging woman in search for a younger man has anything in common with the Cougar animal.

Of course, this is purely based on my own very distinguished authority. I have a classy degree with coveted letters at the end of my name. You know, OWAWS.

You haven't heard of that before?

It stands for Older Woman Aging With Style

The Redhead Riter, OWAWS

Looks really good, doesn't it?

Anyway, let's get back to my scientific comparison.

The Cougar animal vs. the Cougar OWAWS (Older Woman Aging With Style) is as follows...

The animal is the second heaviest cat in the American continents. --- Hello! I do not want to be thought of as getting older and fatter even if it is true. We are skipping this particular comparison. What's the next one? Hmph!

The animal is a stalk-and-ambush predator. --- I have to admit that there are some older women who have this trait and find it acceptable with the reason that "I'm not getting any younger." Sorry, but I have not ever succumbed to this technique. I believe that in my older age, I'm actually getting better in many ways. Besides, the only thing I stalk-and-ambush is the vanilla bean ice cream in my freezer.

The animal is territorial. --- I have to say, "Well, duh!" No, I do not like sharing my man with another older woman or most especially a YWAQ (Young Woman Aging Quickly). My motto is simply, "Keep your paws and any other body parts to yourself and remained covered in my man's presence."

Wild. --- My mother taught me that "There is a time and place for everything." Obviously, she knew what she was talking about because she's my mother! I am wild at appropriate times and it most definitely isn't in public.

The animal is reclusive, solitary and usually avoids people. --- Now if this was true about the older woman who dates younger men, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. The beautiful and intelligent aging woman has already learned the art of socializing and is usually quite adept at holding her own in a crowd. She only avoids people when there is just enough ice cream left in her freezer for one big bowl. She has shared ice cream enough times in her past and no longer feels the inclination to do so any more.

The animal is most active at dawn and dusk. --- I can truly relate! It takes me a little while to get going and lubricate the arthritic joints, so by the time the sun sets, I'm ripping and raring to go. Maybe I have a little bit of werewolf in me because when the moon appears in the sky, I feel so alive!

Lone hunters. --- Some women hunt and prowl in groups while others prefer to eliminate the possibility that one of her friends will attract more male attention thus leaving her high and dry, metaphorically speaking. I might be a rare breed amongst women because I do not hunt alone or in groups. In my case, the man has always hunted me. Personally, the whole hunting, dating scene is just not my cup of hot chocolate. Mmmmmm, hot chocolate with marshmallows by a fireplace. Is it winter yet?

Cougars have retractable claws on its forepaws and hind paws. --- I don't know how the animals take care of their claws in the wild, but there is a definite place that women, old and young alike, go to sharpen and paint their claws. It is called a nail salon and the experience is relaxing and peaceful. Although my nails may be kept quite short, they definitely can leave a mark. You can take that whichever way you desire. Hopefully I don't lose the rest of the men who made it to this point.

The animal will vocalize by using low-pitched hisses, growls, and purrs, as well as chirps and whistles. They are well known for their screams. --- I must refer back to my mother's quote above. As an OWAWS (Older Woman Aging With Style), I rather produce purrs and have males whistle preferably at me. I have been known to hiss and growl when angered, but to date, I truly can not ever remember chirping unless I was playing with small children.

Cougars are best adapted for short, powerful sprints rather than long chases. --- I am not into multiple relationships, one right after the next. I prefer a pleasant and solid relationship that will last all the way to the coffin and hopefully beyond. Women who wish to be a true OWAWS (Older Woman Aging With Style) need to understand that hopping from one man to the next, especially when sex is in the picture, usually gets them called names that are not becoming to my blog, my ears or your eyes.

The animal will eat any animal it can catch such as various deer species, sheep, horses, cattle and even large moose. --- Desperate. That is the perfect descriptive word for this type of woman. It does not, however, appropriately describe an OWAWS (Older Woman Aging With Style with the emphasis on STYLE). I must admit that I find large moose extremely appealing and have stopped to gawk at them on many occasions.

Though capable of sprinting, the cougar is typically an ambush predator. It stalks through brush and trees, across ledges, or other covered spots, before delivering a powerful leap onto the back of its prey and a suffocating neck bite. --- Let me get this straight, neck bites are considered bad to the general public? Ummm, in my world, neck bites or nibbles are quite lovely and when given can be quite sensuous. As far as sprinting, ambushing and the stalking thing goes, I really don't want to waste that much time hiding. I believe in the male seeking me out and preferably in a straightforward manner. I seriously do not have time to pretend like I don't want you interested in me.

Female cougars are sometimes reported as monogamous, but this is uncertain and polygamy may be more common. --- Well, if you are an OWAWS (Older Woman Aging With Style) living in the United States, polygamy is definitely against the law. Besides, refer above to the part about being territorial. There is one exception to this rule that I wish was accepted and legal. I'm sure it would be widely unpopular from a man's point of view, but personally, I would love to have seven husbands. Let's see, one to cook and grocery shop, one to clean and decorate, three to work and support the rest of us, one to do the outside chores, and one to help me accomplish my goals. Doesn't that just sound lovely? Oh, I bet you're thinking about the sex part. Well, there ARE seven days in the week now isn't there?

Copulation for a cougar is brief but frequent. --- Unfortunately, this is true far too often for women in general, but it isn't because that is their desire! It is largely due to a man's physical limitations unless he is young and virile or older and taking Viagra.


Female cougars are fiercely protective of their kittens. --- Yeah! If you mess with the offspring of any Mama, whether she is an OWAWS (Older Woman Aging With Style) or a YWAQ (Young Woman Aging Quickly), all I can say is "You better watch out because 'fiercely protective' is an understatement!"

Cougars use scrape marks, urine, and feces to mark territory and attract mates. Males may scrape together a small pile of leaves and grasses and then urinate on it as a way of marking territory. --- All this time I thought that men were messing up when using the toilet when in fact, they were simply letting it be know that it was truly their throne. With regards to women, if any OWAWS (Older Woman Aging With Style) use anything stronger than perfume to be noticed by a man, I don't know ANYTHING about it. I have, however, smelled the mild scent of moth balls on a woman's coat, but I'm sure it wasn't intentional.

The World Conservation Union (IUCN) currently lists the cougar as a "least concern" species. --- You can say that again! If there is anyone who is appreciated less than an OWAWS (Older Woman Aging With Style), I sure don't know about it. I think an OWAWS is totally devalued just because we no longer have the skin or curves of a twenty year old. Society totally misses the fact that we have wisdom, wit and have polished our personalities. Besides, I think Alabama also added a very important aspect to the whole reason that older women seek the companionship of young, energetic men (refer back to my very first sentence of the post).

Remember, I am speaking of OWAWS (Older Woman Aging With Style) in general.

What is my opinion in calling single OWAWS who date younger men cougars? I don't like it! The name is too predatory and who wants to really be seen as a predator? What do you think...Is it a fitting nickname or not for a woman who dates younger men?



Your resident Older Woman Aging With Style



Purr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r




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Chuckle of the Day - Three Men

Laughter really does release endorphins to the brain and makes your feel better. So when I received this in an email, I just had to share the chuckle...



Three men were hiking through a forest...



when they came upon a
large raging, violent river



Needing to get to the other side,
the first man prayed:



'God, please give me
the strength to cross the river.


Poof!!!



God gave him big arms
and strong legs...



and he was able to swim
across in about 2 hours,
having almost drowned twice.
After witnessing that,
the second man prayed:



'God, please give me strength
and the tools to cross the river'



Poof!!!



God gave him a rowboat and
strong arms and strong legs...



and he was able to row across
in about an hour
after almost capsizing once.
Seeing what happened
to the first two men,
the third man prayed:



'God, please give me
the strength,
the tools and the
intelligence to cross the river'


Poof!!!


HE WAS TURNED
INTO A WOMAN!!!

She checked the map,
hiked one hundred yards upstream...



and walked across the bridge.

Moral of the story:

Guys, if at first you don't succeed,
do it the way your wife told you!

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