The Redhead Riter - Witty, Intelligent & Addictive: time

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A Temporary High

When I sit down to write my blog each day or night, whichever the case might be, I do not feel like it is work. Instead, I feel a sense of relief and relaxation as I get into the mode of typing my thoughts.

The first thing that greets me on Albert, my computer, is the desktop picture. This has been my desktop for quite a while and it brings me a sense of peace whenever I look at it.

I can feel the silence that prevails when surrounded by that much snow.

It's almost magical and majestic.

Silence like that found in snow covered nature is peaceful and evokes introspective thinking. I feel that people do not take the time to hear themselves think enough any more. There are so many distractions with the television, telephone, radio, activities and other people.

With that much snow, it is usually really cold and the air feels cleansing and smells fresh. Taking a deep breath of that kind of air seems to fill the body with renewed hope for a new start.

Albert the computer, Bella the puppy and I usually sit in silence at least for an hour or two each night. The only sound is Turtle the turtle digging in his rocks and the water from the tank trickling. I'm able to let go of the day and all the things that have cluttered my mind.

After a few hours of silence, sometimes I play a song over and over...and over and over...and over and over again. Right now I'm listening to Kenny Chesney sing "Somewhere With You." It's probably about the thirtieth time for the evening.

Every now and then the post that I've composed in my mind during the drive to work, while I'm grocery shopping or cooking dinner isn't what I feel like writing. After I refresh my mind by removing the messiness of the day, the earlier thoughts sound stale in my head. However with a blank slate, there is always a thought that pops in my mind that becomes my post for the evening.

I don't know if you are going to jump over to YouTube.com and listen to Kenny Chesney's song, but part of the lyrics are:

But It's just a temporary high
'Cause when I close my eyes
I'm somewhere with you,
Somewhere with you

How much of our lives are just a temporary high?

Are we actively engaged in activities that add value and worth remembering?

Do we take the time with loved ones for granted and waste opportunities to share the joy of our life experience and draw the comfort we need from each other?

Will we regret our squandered time as we approach the end of our lives?

Are we making the most of it or do we spend too much time on a temporary high dreaming of being somewhere else or with someone else?

Waste your money and
you're only out of money,
but waste your time and
you've lost a part of your life.
~Michael Leboeuf~

Image: ©Tomek Dyczewski

When I was a little girl, Mom and I were always close. She would stretch out on her lawn chair to soak up the sun's rays while I played on the patio in the shade. Dad always kept our yard perfect - no weeds, bright green, gorgeous flowers and edged. The grand invention known as a "weed eater" didn't exist yet, so he kept a little trench dug around all the flower beds, the concrete driveway and patio.

The trench was magnificent!

I would often drag the long green water hose over to the trench and fill it up with water after I drank a little that would inevitably go up my nose first. Then after gathering small leaves, I would place the leaves into the water. Immediately, the floating leaves became boats for the ants and the trench was a mote, river or canal in my wild childhood imagination. The ants would run around and around on the leaves, but never jump in the water and the leaves didn't sink. This often kept me entertained for hours.

Of course, I was a child and did not have any other responsibilities, so spending time floating boats was fun.

Now, I'm woman and my "boats" of responsibility often are vitally important because it keeps a roof over my head, my family safe or my body working properly. How do I float the boats? It is called time management and is of utmost importance to being a successful woman aging with style - WAWS.

What is time management?

Time management is using the skills, tools and techniques necessary to manage one's time in an efficient manner in order to obtain the most quality of the time spent in any activity. Just in case you are wondering, yes, I do have "skills" which are very different than "skillz" according to my daughter.

What is needed for effective time management?

Let's keep this simple. In order to have effective time management, you need:

desire
determination
decision-making skills
ability to prioritize
knowing when to delegate
high coping ability
analytical
being responsible
keeping a perspective on the big picture

Tips for successful time management

Floating boats of responsibilities is actually one of my strong points. There is a certain amount of thrill obtained when I have been successful at completing a multitude of tasks at one time. I can equate it to the excitement my daughter feels while riding a roller coaster - exhilaration!

Let me give you some tips on successfully managing your time so that none of your boats sink.

Be organized/clean. This is absolutely necessary in obtaining balance between tasks. The funny little ditty, "A clean desk is a sign of sickness," is not true. The simple fact is that clutter is distracting.

Make wise, well thought out decisions/plan. For example: If you want to paint a wall would you:
- Drive to the store. Buy the paint. Drive home. Open the paint. Drive back to the store. Buy a paint stick. Drive back home. Open the paint. Stir the paint. Put the lid back on the paint can. Drive back to the store. Buy a paint brush. Drive home. Open the paint. Stir the paint again. Paint.
- Drive to the store. Buy the paint, paint stick and paint brush. Drive home. Paint.
Although the same task would be completed in the end, the second choice is definitely more time efficient.

Prioritize. What is most important? That is the underlying question during any task prioritization. For example: If the house suddenly became engulfed with flames, would you:
- Go into the kitchen. Make a bowl of cereal. Call 9-1-1 emergency to report the fire and then leave the house.
- Quickly leave the house. Call 9-1-1 emergency to report the fire. Forget the cereal because your house is burning down!!!!
Obviously, that was a silly and somewhat stupid example, but it blaringly shows the importance of properly prioritizing tasks. Always ask, "What is the most important tasks that needs to be completed?" and then begin with that one. Re-prioritize as needed reassessing the "urgent" versus the "important" tasks.

Avoid procrastination. The adage, "Don't do today what you can do tomorrow," is just a time waster and definitely will sink all your responsibility boats. Another word for procrastination is quite simply, laziness.

Write it down with a time/date. Whether you make a list on the computer, piece of paper, in a planner, on your Blackberry, PDA (personal digital assistant), on a calendar or in lipstick on the bathroom mirror, it is mandatory to write down all the things that need to be accomplished and a due date.

Do not over commit. There is only so much that one person can do alone or with a team. Be sure to stay real and avoid not only over committing, but making impossible deadlines that are completely unattainable. This one action will cause too much stress especially since it is unnecessary.

Delegate. The ability to delegate tasks because it is impossible to accomplish everything on time makes you...human. No, you are not a failure if you asks for help or delegate the things that need to get done. Being able to delegate before the last minute which may cause delays and missed deadlines is a sign of great time management.

Analyze. As you work through the tasks, analyze the successful completion of each and the time needed for the completion of the the other responsibilities. Tweak the plans as necessary.

Save and toss. In this day of technological wonders, people still have the tendency to save too much stuff. Not only should you streamline your papers and files in the cabinet/desk, likewise, avoid filling your hard drive with things you won't ever look at again.

Body and mood. Plan tasks according to your body's energy level cycles and mood flow. Face it - some people are early birds while others are night owls. Early birds can not accomplish as much late in the night and night owls are often grouchy in the morning. When you are not at your peak energy level, it is like trying to run in the ocean. Everything is v-e-r-y---s-l-o-w. Schedule important, energy demanding responsibilities during your peak energy flow.

Pareto principle or 80-20 rule. The rule states that 20% of your tasks/items/duties account for 80% of the value/end result/inventory valuation. For example: I'm having a party and still need to:
- put the roasting pan in the oven (It holds carrots, potatoes, roast beef - all seasoned)
- make myself a milk shake
- take a shower and wash my hair
Obviously, if I put the roasting pan in the oven (takes 10 seconds) first, in two hours I will have dinner finished and be able to feed everyone at the party. Quenching my sweet tooth with a milk shake and beautifying myself not only can be accomplished while the roast cooks, but the end value will not feed my hungry dinner party.

Stop. Know when to take time out to relax in order to maintain great physical health, mental acuity and avoid burnout. Learning to relax is definitely under rated.

What are the advantages of effective time management?

Continually exhibiting effective time management is a priceless skill. Some of the advantages are:

increased productivity
increase in time
reduced frustration/stress
greater sense of accomplishment and fulfillment
increased self-control
more control over your life
increased self-confidence
less worry because of deadlines
more relaxation and down time
increased energy level
increased relationship harmony

Acquiring the skill of effective time management is worth the effort. Like all things worth having or obtaining, it will take effort to learn how to consistently succeed in keeping all those boats floating in the sea of life. Watching them all float along in a relaxing flow is truly a thrill that is equaled only by the ants that floated across the world in their little boats made of leaves.

I've always been fascinated by Mariah Carey's five-octave vocal range. She can pierce the eardrums with the high notes and yet still sing the lower, husky and warm notes. Even if you don't like her style of music, it is easy to appreciate her beautiful singing voice. Since I sound like a dying cow when I sing, I really appreciate the talent she has shared with the rest of the world.

The other day this average looking duck waddled around some plants on the way to a little pond not too far down the road. It was cute enough, I thought, as long as it didn't leave anything behind...if you are following my train of thought.

I watched this feathery creature duck (pun intended) in and out while quacking loudly. This brown duck didn't just quack once or twice, it continuously quacked in a range of voices. At first it was the middle notes which were followed by deeper, longer quacks, but that wasn't enough for this duck. She also felt the need to produce a high pitch screaming quack.

The next thing I knew, she was waddling away out of sight and had stopped quacking. That started my wheels turning as I compared this duck to Mariah Carey and life.

Mariah Carey came into the public eye in 1989 and after numerous awards and top hits, disappeared for a few years and then made a big comeback in 2005 with the release of her album The Emancipation of Mimi.

Many people or life events also follow this same path. We experience births, deaths, parties, jobs, anniversaries, homes, cars and the list goes on and on. These things come into our lives and then time happens, changes occur and the experiences pass.

So often we are not "in" the moment. We do not see and appreciate the people and possessions we already have in our lives. Often, "I want more, more, more" becomes the guiding theme. More is not always better. New is not always better. Old stuff isn't simply old, it is often comforting and enjoyable.

I want to be like that when I'm "old stuff"...comforting and enjoyable. I also do not want to take any experience for granted. Living each day to the fullest requires constantly remembering to notice the little things and remain in the moment.

As thrilling as it was when Mariah Carey made her returning debut, it was equally unexciting when the duck returned quacking in a huge voice and leaving things behind for me to remember her.

I wonder if we cultivate relationships in such a manner that people are happy with our return and grateful for being part of the experiences we leave behind.

A Little Is Enough

Take a moment to recognize the little things.

It's not the amount of sunshine
peeping through the blinds...
It's how we enjoy the beauty
as it seeps through our minds.

Life Threads

Life has unexpected twists and turns. Each day is truly a new beginning filled with unforeseen experiences. Our reactions and acceptance determines where the next new beginning starts.

Thirteen years ago I had a thriving Avon business in Texas with 1,500 customers and an abundance of product. I was married to my first husband, living in a house on a quiet cul-de-sac. Alyssa and Brittany were just tiny girls. My sister and mom were still single and I don't think any of us had wrinkles!

During that time, I purchased a blue and white throw with a beautiful rose design. It was part of a series which included cobalt blue dishes, candles, crystal, and other home decorations. Each item of the series that I purchased remained in the original plastic and put into boxes neatly hidden on a shelf in the back of a closet. I had decided to save them until we moved to a larger home as a housewarming gift to myself.

Time passed.

We didn't buy a larger home.

Instead, my marriage fell apart and after sixteen years together, we divorced.

Packing and sorting all our belongings was painful. I couldn't imagine using all the things that stirred sentiment and so I gave most of it to my ex-husband. I didn't, however, give him the blue rose series of home decor.

Now I'm married to my second husband and living in Virgina. My sister and mom have since married and we all live within thirty minutes of each other. Alyssa and Brittany are beautiful young women. My sister, mom and I have wrinkles that seem to have suddenly just appeared out of nowhere.

A few years ago, I opened the box that held the blue rose throw. Holding the intricately woven threads, memories of childhood laughter, dripping popsicles, sprinklers, dolls, vacations, and young love swept through my mind.

My memories and life, like the threads of the blue rose throw, are delicately woven with each choice, opportunity, trial and tribulation experienced. These are my life threads. The throw and I are not without flaws and after many years, we are both a little worn and frayed.

I think softly worn throws are lovely.

The Time

"Time is free,
but it's priceless.
You can't own it,
but you can use it.
You can't keep it,
but you can spend it.
Once you've lost it
you can never get it back."
~Harvey MacKay~

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The 11th Commandment

This morning ended my very long vacation and also school was back in session. Stepping outside to take Alyssa to school, we were hit with an icy cold wind. I don't know how people live in below zero temperatures! I had on pants, shirt, sweats jacket with hood, mid-calf length down coat with hood, mittens and a scarf wrapped around my face. I looked like the abominable snowman and the cold wind still took my breath away.

In the car we were both quiet. Our body clocks are not set to be up early in the morning. We do best staying up until 3:00 a.m. and sleeping until 9:00 a.m., but since money doesn't grow on trees and neither does an education, we both have to get up. It wouldn't have been so bad this morning except that for two weeks we have been on "our" schedule which meant that last night we did not get our beauty sleep. I actually had several people comment on my bloodshot eye today. Oh yeah, I was gorgeous.

So imagine us both totally bundled yet still cold, donned with our makeup, sitting in a cold vehicle, traveling to school very quietly. Then we both see it at the same time...the moon.

The moon was shining very bright and white directly in front of us.

How can that be? We are expected to be performing at top speed now...with the moon shining...after 2 1/2 hours sleep?

That's when I decided that there should be an 11th Commandment.

"Thou shalt not get up before the moon has completely disappeared from sight."

Alyssa agrees with me.

We think it should be against the law to leave your house that early to go to work or school when the moon is still hanging in the sky.

Don't you think that is a great idea?

orangutan

No Time Like The Present

Time is an elusive thing. We can not go back and get time from our past, nor can we take time from our future. All we have is this moment...this very second. There is no time like the present because there is no time except for the present.

The human tendency is to look at what we don't have instead of focusing our energy on all our good fortune and blessings. How often we dwell on the cup half full instead of half empty is determined by our personality and belief system.

"You can't change the past,
but you can ruin the present
by worrying about the future."

Working with Smiley reinforces all the teachings of my mother. The moment she awakes, Mom is all sunshine, song birds and gusto for the day. No matter how hard the trial, she doesn't give up.

I try to incorporate that attitude into my life too, but I'm not as successful. I try to improve my attitude with thinking myself through it. When hard times hit, I think, "What is the worst thing that could happen?" given the current situation. Obviously, since I have a loving family, the "worst" thing may be uncomfortable or humiliating, but I wouldn't ever be alone or in the street. That knowledge is always in the back of my mind bringing me peace and helping me to have the fortitude to continue through life's trials.

Women often have a billion things running through their mind at the same time. Sometimes this is helpful, but most of the time it is discouraging. It reinforces the fact that their isn't enough time in the day to accomplish all the things we want to do. That realization is often depressing and clouds our ability to see the positives in the moment we are living.

Tragedy usually forces a person to let go of the unimportant and to focus on the important. I tend to go from zero to hundred in one jump. For instance...Alyssa started to complain that I couldn't do this and I couldn't do that which meant I messed up her plans of doing something she "wanted" to do. She acted like it was the end of the world, as all teenagers tend to act. I said to her, "What if the house burned down...Would you be carrying on about this? Is it really that important?" Obviously, it ticks her off, but it gets my point across. If the house was burning down, what would be your focus and what would be the most important things you would want to save from destruction? So although the house isn't burning down, the most important things in life to me are family not possessions or money.

There is no time like the present, so be in it. Stop worrying about all the things you did or didn't do in the past. Stop worrying about all the things you need to accomplish in the future. Enjoy this moment. Enjoy those who people in your life that make you smile. Hold them close. I try to teach Alyssa the concept of living every moment to the fullest, without regrets, because we only have this minute of time. The last minute we lived is gone. The next minute isn't promised. Live this minute.

In the hustle and bustle of your lives, what do you do to keep yourself on track and living in the present? How did you, do you or would you teach your children this concept?

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."
~Steve Jacobs~

Message In A Bottle

Walking along the beach I see an object reflecting an eye-catching bright green color. Curiosity gets the best of me causing my footsteps to slowly walk towards the object, kicking the sand with each step.

As I stoop to pick up the object of my fascination, I am mesmerized by the smooth, slender shape of the empty bottle and its accompanying cork top. message in a bottle

Image:http://www.freeimages.co.uk/index.htm
If you knew that someone close to you would find the bottle at an unspecified date in the future and you only had one sheet of paper in which to write them a note, what would you be compelled to write?

my message in a bottle

Now throw it back into the ocean...

ocean splash

Image:http://www.freeimages.co.uk/index.htm

"Never waste the chance to say
♥ 'I love you' ♥
because this chance might never come again."
~Unknown~

There Is An End And A Beginning

This post is divided into three distinct sections because the three sections have nothing to do with each other except for the relationship to the title of my post...

Number One

Remember that pink flashing reminder to vote for the Mommy Blogger of the Year at Project Mommyhood and how it disappeared on Sept 1st? That's because there was a winner: Allie at No Time For Flashcards! Congrats to the winner!

Thank you to all my blogging and non-blogging (who found voting to be crazy...LOL) friends who voted for me. Although I didn't win, I had a great time and was very flattered at the number of votes I received especially since I have only been blogging for four months. Humbly, I say "Thank You" to all of you.

Number Two

I've been given a few things to pass along from some sweet bloggers. Before you ask, I can count, but I hate rules that tell me I can only choose five or six or whatever the number is, so tsk, tsk...I have a hard time making decisions...OBVIOUSLY!

Everyone listed below for the award or tag gets the You Add Sunshine To My Day Award because YOU DO! Pass it on to other bloggers who brighten your day!

Download it here

Next is the Superior Scribbler Award who was given to me by Tammy at Keep In Touch With Mommakin. She is a beautiful lady!

Download it here
The rules for this one are:

Each Superior Scribbler I name today must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.
Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.
Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to this post, which explains The Award.
Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor.
Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog

I'm passing this along to the following Superior Scribblers:

I hadn't seen The Bookworm Tag before it was given to me by Jennifer at life 'round you n me who is a young, single mom in the Philippines.

Download it here

I'm tagging the following:

Number Three

It is fast approaching the time we all begin our hibernation because summer is nearly over...
popcicles

"In summer, the song sings itself."
~William Carlos Williams~
crystal clear swimming pool

"No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace
As I have seen in one autumnal face."
~John Donne~
fall trees

"If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant:
if we did not sometimes taste of adversity,
prosperity would not be so welcome."
~Anne Bradstreet~
snowy lane

See your latest post and discuss this post at

How Much?

After I tell you this true story about two people I have personally known for a long time, I want you to answer this question for yourself...

How much?

For the purposes of this posting, I have changed the names to protect their identities since both are still living...well, physically anyway.

Betty was not only beautiful, but she was very intelligent. Several years younger than her sister, Sally was kind, beautiful, fun to be around and also a smart girl. They grew up comfortably and eventually they both were married. Betty moved far away from her parents and sister while Sally remained a few minutes away from her childhood home. Both sisters were blessed with three beautiful children, but the women were completely opposite in their personalities and motherhood.

The rules for the children in Betty's home were numerous and very strict. The children were frightened of their parents and rather than blooming, their personalities were squelched. The family income afforded them lavish homes which were kept immaculately clean. It was so clean that one felt the need to levitate rather than walk on the carpet or floor, so it was too awkward. "Comfortable" wasn't an adjective that would cross the mind while being with the family at home. Betty and her husband strongly believed that children should be seen and only heard when given permission to be so. Eventually the children grew up and all three children graduated with high honors and many degrees. Betty never had friends, didn't leave the house much, dedicated her life to cleaning her home, and I don't really know what filled the rest of her days.

Sally lived on a big piece of property in the country and her children played, laughed loudly and got dirty frequently. Her home was clean, but I wouldn't suggest eating off the floor and I would check the toilet seat for splatters before sitting down. Sally and her husband had a lot of friends as did their children. They visited and were visited by parents and friends. Their home was always a flurry of activities with children, friends, dogs, cats, goats, sheep, cooking and laughter. When her youngest child was a teenager, Sally had an affair and became pregnant. Shortly after finding out that she had become pregnant and not thinking clearly, Sally leaped off the roof of her home so that she would lose the baby. She miscarried and the guilt took a large piece of her soul. Her husband still loved her, but Sally didn't love herself. Eventually, she divorced her husband, left her children behind and started a life filled with lies, alcohol, drugs, and prostitution.

Betty, who is still in her fifties, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She stays at home playing with her pet bunny. Her once perfectly coiffed hair and flawless makeup has been replaced by a ponytail and a little lotion on her face. All of Betty's intelligence has disappeared, and the money she hoarded can't buy it back. Since Sally spent her life selfishly and was "too good" for everyone, she is not visited by friends because she does not have any friends. Her world consists of a bunny, a husband and a daughter who helps to take care of her now.

Sally is now a drug dependent alcoholic who goes from one boyfriend to the next. "Making love" has no part in her life. There is only sex - emotionless. Sally does not work, so she is often homeless until some man decides to take care of her. She doesn't have a relationship with her three children, has no possessions except the shirt on her back, and her intelligence has been squandered in alcohol and drugs. The damage to her body is evident when you look into her face and watch her failing health. Sally passes each day selfishly gratifying her physical wants and desires.

Both sisters really "had it all"...love, companionship, motherhood, homes, physical health, beauty, cars, and happiness. They have lost it all. They squandered it in selfish desires - one hoarded it all and the other always thought the grass was greener on the other side of the fence. Their selfishness caused them to be unappreciative of the opportunity for a wonderful life and future.

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues,
but the parent of all others."
~Cicero~
Look around at your life. Right now you are sitting at a computer and you are "reading." Are you safe, warm or cool, sitting amongst pretty furniture in a comfortable home or apartment? Do you have a car, television, DVD player, iPod, mp3 player, cell phone, blackberry, camera and/or camcorder? Do you have a job that pays enough to meet your bills or already living on a good retirement? Do you have talents that you are able to spend time developing? Do you have parents, friends, a companion, children and maybe even a pet dog or cat? Are you healthy?

How much do you appreciate your life?

Do you squander your days in selfishness with your ego inflated while thinking that you are better than everyone else?

Are you Betty or Sally? These two women are real. They were once beautiful inside as well as outside.

How much do you appreciate your life?

Do you make time to uplift and encourage "friends" or say "hello" to the stranger who looks lonely?

What will people say about your life?

What do people say about you behind your back now?

How much do you appreciate your life?

"At times our own light goes out
and is rekindled by a spark from another person.
Each of us has cause to think
with deep gratitude
of those who have lighted the flame within us."
~Albert Schweitzer~
When you have finished reading reading this posting and get up from the computer, look around you...

Pretend you are a stranger...

What do you see?

Is there someone there that loves you?

How much do you appreciate your life and how will your story sound to a stranger reading it in a blog on the computer?