The Redhead Riter - Witty, Intelligent & Addictive: death

Showing posts with label death. Show all posts

Is There Life After Death?

April is a big month in my family...

My sister, Audrey, was born on April 3rd.

My dad was born on April 4th.

My daughter, Alyssa, was born on April 15th.

It's the month of births. On the day that we enter into the world, it is an exciting and scary adventure. We have a body and the freedom to make choices. Inevitably, we all make mistakes...some of us learn from them and others do not, but we all are given the opportunity to choose how we live.

Audrey and Alyssa can still enjoy the sun in the morning, but Dad lived all his days already.

Where is Dad?

Dad is no longer living on this earth because he died of a horrible disease called cancer. His physical body is in the cemetery. I can visit and put flowers on his grave, but his body no longer houses his spirit.

Most people agree on that part of living and dying, but there are vast differences in the beliefs of what happens after we die.

Is there life after death?

Do we float up to the sky, sit on clouds and play harps all day?

Do we cease to exist?

There is a really sweet lady at work and when her grandfather died, I went to her office to offer my condolences. During the conversation I said, "Some day you will see him again."

She looked at me quizzically and said, "No, I won't ever see him again."

I was a little taken aback and asked her about what she think happened after we died. She said, "After you die, you name is written in a book, but you cease to exist because all living is over."

"Wow!" I said. "With that kind of belief, what is the motivation to do good?"

"We choose to do good because that is what's right," she said in a matter of fact tone.

I proceeded to tell her that I believed after our body died, our spirit went on to live. Those people who have gone before us will be there to greet me and we will see them when we pass away. I would be held accountable for the choices that I had made while living on Earth. That was part of the motivation for "being good."

Knowing that I will see those people I love again brings me comfort.

It gives me hope of a great reunion some day.

I also feel like my existence and all the good I try to do on this planet isn't for nothing.

Within the next week, my Mom's sister will pass away at the young age of 63. This is the same sister that Mom spoke of in Two Big Eyes In The Window. Aunt Ann's body is shutting down and when everything stops, I believe she will step out of her body and see her parents and all those that have lived before her.

Aunt Ann will be happy. All those who love her that are still living will grieve from the loss. That's how it all happens...birth, life, death.

Do you believe that there is life after death?

"The fear of death follows
from the fear of life.
A man who lives fully
is prepared to die at any time."
~Mark Twain~

Rockin' Friends Spotlight of the Week

This is the weekly post where I spotlight my Rockin' Friends who are the Top Nine active participants and loyal followers in my community! If you want to be mentioned here next week, then all it takes is to come in and start chatting with everyone in my community.

With a big thank you for their participation and friendship, here are the Rockin' Friends this week in order of most participation:

Katlupe at Homesteading on the Internet

Bev at eBlebco.com

Carol at ArtMuseDog

Marlene at Marlene's Many Hats

Angela at Just A City Girl With Tractor Envy

Kristi at The Child Sensitive Communication Grid

Lori at Lori's LOLz

Sonia at LogAllot.com

Suzanne at One Thousand Gifts

I'm so glad that I've been able to become friends with these lovely ladies who are so active in my community. I encourage you to add their blogs to your blogroll, but also come over and chat with us in my community.

For everyone mentioned in the top nine this week, feel free to grab the Rockin' Friend badge below (Yeah, we do crazy poses like that too because we are stylish LOL) and thank you for your participation!!

Until the spotlight next week...Happy Chatting Rockin' Friends!

Don't forget to add your blog URL to the Linky at Woo Us To Your Blog and learn blogging tips that will help you have a polished blog and to increase your traffic! This week it is all about my new boots! Have you read it yet?

Until next week...Kiss your family, hug your friends and don't forget to be the friend you would like to have around.

Daffodils on My Grave

A few years ago, spurred by my grandmother's passing, Alyssa and I were discussing our own burial wishes. Talking about death usually isn't a pleasant conversation, however, remembering this one still makes me laugh. Alyssa, you can roll your eyes the way teenagers do so well.

It went something like this...

"Alyssa, when I die some day, my body will be in the ground, but my spirit will not. I don't want you to feel like you have to go to my grave all the time."

"I know Mom," she said with a voice that echoed her dislike of talking about this subject AGAIN.

"Maybe I can be buried somewhere that they will allow daffodils to be planted on my grave plot."

"Why would you want them planted there?" Alyssa asked.

"Well, a daffodil is one of my top two favorite flowers and every year they regenerate to come back with twice as many as the year before. Eventually, daffodils would completely cover my grave!" I said with much enthusiasm.

"Sure," she said matter-of-factly, "And then I won't ever have to visit you."

"Hmmmm, that wasn't exactly what I was thinking. Don't you want to visit me?"

"Why Mom? You just said that you wouldn't be there and now you told me the ground would be covered with daffodils!"

My advice: Be careful what you tell your children!!

I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud
by William Wordsworth

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

field of daffodils

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling leaves in glee;
A poet could not be but gay,
In such a jocund company!
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

Can't you relate when he says, "I wandered lonely as a cloud"?

Many times I have "on my couch I lie in vacant or in pensive mood," and then began to have memories "flash upon that inward eye" so strongly that I feel almost as if I had just lived it.

When Dad actually passed away, my heart exploded with pain. I am so grateful that he didn't have to linger long and suffer the way I know so many people do when they have cancer, but it really didn't lessen the agony of having him leave.

Dad had a lovely service and he had even written a goodbye letter. It was nice to know that he loved me as he proclaimed it to all who were attending the farewell in the same church where he married my mother almost fifty years ago. Words of love, hope and comfort were spoken by all and the choir raised their voices to the songs that Dad has chosen to be sung.

It was just so sad for so many reasons. I can't pick up the phone and call him any more. There won't be another holiday that he will share with the family. There is no possible place that I can go to get a hug from Dad or hear him say he loves me. I feel as though a piece of me is gone and I guess it really is gone.

I keep trying to tell myself that life is just a blink and before I know it we will be together again, but I do not feel any comfort in that knowledge today. I even know that he is happy with all those that have gone before and I am so thrilled for his happiness, but that just doesn't lighten the sad loneliness I feel as he continues to run through my heart.

I want to thank all of you for offering prayers and comfort in many forms. Tina from Little Tots Big Ideas sent me this poem and I thought I would share it with you since it is so beautifully written.

May I Go Now?
by Susan A. Jackson

May I Go? May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say good-bye to pain-filled days
and endless lonely nights?

I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?

I didn't want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and loving light.

I want to go. I really do.
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day,

To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and so afraid,
because I see your tears.

I'll not be far, I promise that,
and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you,
wherever you may go.

Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you too.
That's why it's hard to say good-bye
and end this life with you.

So hold me now, just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.

Most people just die suddenly and no one has the opportunity to tell them goodbye. I have thought a lot about that and so, I've already told Mom that I love her more than words can say and that I will miss her desperately when she is no longer here on this earth. I even told Alyssa as we were driving back home that I am so grateful to have her as my daughter and have cherished every moment.

I want all my relationships to be neat and tidy with love coming and going without regret. That is even part of the reason why I write this blog. If I can post ten years of "Happy Birthday" posts filled with love to each of my family members just in case I am not around, I think that alone would make it well worth the effort.

Before I close this post, let me just say that I am truly thankful for my family - their love and sacrifices on my behalf. There are simply no words to thank my mother for giving me life and teaching me how to choose the better part and the way to incorporate it into my every choice. I am thankful for my beautiful and loving daughter who has made my life worth living and gave it more meaning than anything else I have ever done. My heart is full of appreciation for my friends both seen and unseen - their generosity, patience, thoughtful kindnesses and assistance with so many endeavors and experiences. Most of all, I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who gave me the opportunity to return to Him some day. I believe He allowed me to be born in this era and location with the people and opportunities that have made my life so rich with love.

Take the time to appreciate all the people, things and opportunities that enrich your life and share your grateful heart while you have the time.

Dad loved listening to Elvis Presley sing and so I leave you now with one of his favorites which he wanted played as the closing song at his service.

Goodbye Dad, I'm missing you already.

Loving you forever and thinking of you always...
until we meet again,

Your Little Red

Dad is Gone and I am Grieving

I just don't have it in me to post much today.

I posted this in my community last night...

You do not have to have a Twitter account to read the things I wrote about my dad. Please feel free to read them. They started way early the morning of October 15th and won't end until later that night. If you click "more" at the bottom of my Twitter page, it will keep populating all my tweets (tweets are little messages I post on Twitter)

Here is my Twitter ---> http://twitter.com/TheRedheadRiter

I did find out today that Dad will be buried next to his grandparents on Sunday.

I've cried all day. I wish my tear ducts would go on strike.

Hold your family and friends tighter because unlike me, you may not have any time to say your last goodbyes. People leave this life in an instant and we just don't know who is next or when, where, how and often why. My daughter just found out one of her friends also died last night. He was only twenty years old.

Don't waste the opportunity you have now to forgive, forget, love and move on together with a happy life. Take time to be with one another so that you have beautiful memories when they are no longer around.

I'd like to believe that Dad had a lovely greeting from his family and Jesus after he stepped out of his cancerous body last night. That is what I'm trying to dwell on now...Dad is finally pain free and happy.

Scrubs, Hospice and Dad

Sitting in a sterile hospital room with a very sick person who sometimes is on the brink of death is a humbling experience. My nursing talents consist of Band-aids, Neosporin and tears, so I feel lost even helpless amongst the large chrome encircled bed, hanging bags of fluids, beeping machines, and efficient, knowledgeable staff in nursing uniforms.

The nurses and doctors have been the faces of comfort during emotional strife in their very recognizable scrub sets. To me, they truly are angels of mercy for whom I am very grateful. First they helped save my daughter's life and now they are helping my father as his life ends. The emotional roller coaster for these medical professionals must be hard to "leave at the office."

Nurses work very long shifts spent taking care of people and saving lives. I love the "scrub" look because it isn't too dressy, but doesn't look scruffy either. It helps that the fabric doesn't hold wrinkles, so even if they have worked too long, their uniforms still look fresh. I was actually surprised how affordable they are at Nursing Uniforms and thought this would be a great alternative to the dreaded "moo moo" that my daughter says should not be legal on my body There's no way she would complain about these cute scrubs because I know she already wants a black and pink pair. .

During the past couple of years, I have seen the inside of a hospital far too much. I'm always very frightened and panicked because someone I care about is hurt in a way that I can not fix or make it go away. That is such a helpless feeling to be completely reliant on others to make a pain go away or repair something that is wounded.

Dad isn't in the hospital any more and won't be because of a specialized service that is assisting him. Hospice is a type of care and a philosophy of care which focuses on helping the terminally ill die with a semblance of dignity and with little to no pain. Their sole purpose is to relieve the suffering of people that face inevitable death. They do not try to find a cure, delay, stop, or reverse the progression of the disease.

Whether you are in a nursing home, hospital or at home like Dad, hospice is still an alternative. The nurses that work for the hospice program are specially trained for this type of care which includes not only the body, but also their mental and emotional needs.

Each day, the hospice nurses sit and talk to Dad, assist with his meals, wash the dishes, straighten up the living room if necessary and handle his physical needs. According to the New York Times in 2008, "There are now more than 3,000 hospice programs in the United States, serving about 900,000 patients a year." I'm sure that number continues rise.

I've provided a link below to a government brochure on everything to do with hospice. I encourage you to read it now while you are healthy and before anyone in your family becomes terminally ill. I knew that Dad didn't want to fight this cancer, so hospice was an immediate choice before he even left the hospital. As a matter of fact, his doctor had hospice call us. This is a common occurrence because when you are met with news this tragic, the last thing you want to do is lift the phone and dial it and the caring medical staff understand this aspect of human shock, grief and suffering.

Dad also has friends in his small town who have stopped by to visit and bring him meals. Up until a few weeks ago, he looked forward to this interaction, but then it became hard to concentrate, eat or be awake. For the past three days he has slept almost the whole day...without pain.

You know, I have been praying that Heavenly Father would have mercy on Dad by taking him quickly and apparently my prayers are getting answered.

This whole experience has happened so quickly.

I'm so glad that shortly after we heard the prognosis, Dad and I said our goodbyes. It is such a comfort now to think back and remember him saying, "I love you" after I told him that "I'm going to miss you a whole lot." Since then, we have cried together on the phone and with each call I have listened to him slip further and further away.

If he lives until Saturday, I will see him alive again. If not, I'll have to wait until it is my time to step out of my body. Somehow it makes my own eventual death not seem so bad any more knowing that he will be there to greet me.

I had a rough time at work today holding it all together. Actually, I didn't hold it together, but hey, this is life and I'm emotional right now. All I can say is thank goodness I have an office door that I can close!

Government PDF Medicare Hospice Benefits
American Medical Association
Medicare
Hospice Foundation of America

***I was compensated by Nursing Uniforms for reviewing their site and including their online store in this post. However, my opinions are always honest especially since I incorporated their product in a post with an update on my father. Thanks Nursing Uniforms for the opportunity to talk about your product which helps clothe some of the greatest people on earth.

Dad, Close Your Eyes

You Can Close Your Eyes

Well the sun is surely sinking down
But the moon is slowly rising
So this old world must still be spinning 'round
And I still love you

So close your eyes
You can close your eyes, it's all right
I don't know no love songs
And I can't sing the blues anymore
But I can sing this song
And you can sing this song
When I'm gone

It won't be long before another day
We gonna have a good time
And no one's gonna take that time away
You can stay as long as you like

Only close your eyes
You can close your eyes, it's all right
No, I don't know no love songs
And I can't sing the blues anymore
So, but I can sing this song
Yes, and you can sing this song
When I'm gone

For several years I've tried to convince Dad to come live with me - partly for him and partly for me.

I knew that he would be well taken care of, would experience things he never had the opportunity to do, could know me face-to-face and I would get to capture a lost childhood with him if we shared a roof.

I feel cheated.

It won't happen now because of the cancer that has ravaged Dad's body in a mere few months and as of yesterday, his kidneys are beginning to shut down. The doctor has said that with the high calcium and morphine levels in his body, he will probably die in his sleep peacefully and without pain.

The end is near at hand and I don't want to accept it. I don't want him to suffer or make him linger longer for my own selfish desires, but my father is dying and there isn't anything I can do about it.

The emotion I'm feeling isn't pain...it's agony. I feel as though a part of my heart is being ripped out of my chest. Experiences of times spent together float constantly across my mind giving comfort while also adding pain.

When Dad is gone, I will feel a little lost. The world already suddenly feels bigger and not as kind a place to live.

Even my mother, as close as I am to her, can not provide me with comfort.

My eyes are burning as I try desperately to read the words I've written and my fingers shake with the dreaded inevitability of more sadness when he leaves this frail existence. Dad will find a place far better than this world, but I have to remain on this planet with a huge hole in my heart.

A hole that can't be filled by anyone else.

An ache that has no end.

Missing him.

Remembering him.

So often a desperate feeling will well up inside of me and I will want to beg them to help him...rehydrate his collapsing veins...give him chemotherapy and radiation "just in case" they are wrong...and the thoughts continue, but then I come back to the unselfish daughter. Dad doesn't want those things. All of those procedures would only prolong his agony, not provide him with a quality filled life. He knows that he did not stand even a shred of beating these cancers. If at any point he thought that he could win, he would have been transformed into Rambo, The Terminator and Rocky all wrapped up into one. But that isn't the lot he was given. He made the choices and I don't have the right to take away his freedom to make those choices.

Dad wants to die at home if at all possible. So that is where he lies under the sheets in a big hospital bed which has been placed in the middle of his living room while he continues to slip in and out of reality.

He has been strong and brave through this hell he has suffered. I can only hope that I will emulate this strength when it is my turn to step out of my body.

For now, all I do is think about how lonely I will feel when I can't call or visit Dad. How will I ever be able to drive home each day from work without hearing his voice on the other end of the phone? When I hear a joke, I won't be able to run to the phone and share it with him just so that I can hear him laugh. He won't be there to tell me the same story every couple of months. Dad will not be here on this earth and available to talk to me.

This experience is formidable.

Life is difficult.

The pain I feel at this impending loss is excruciating.

Death feels so final.

This experience gives me a renewed perspective that the things people fight about are often just stupid. "We" meaning spouses, siblings, children, and friends don't have that much time together to share life, so why do we waste it with meaningless arguing and unhappy relationships?

We need to recommit and focus on those things now that are important, not the frivolous items that will eventually turn to dust. No one can take anything with them when they die, but those things we have stored in our minds and hearts can remain forever.

The love we have for each other will prevail.

I love you Dad.

I have always loved you and ached to be with you more.

You are going to be desperately missed, but I won't make you stay.

I know it is your time to go even though I want to desperately hang on your pants leg and beg you not to leave.

I will let you go with all the dignity I can muster.

You can close your eyes...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXxJHk3vWvo&feature=related

With a heavy heart,

I Just Want A Penny

When turmoil hits your life, people who care rally around you offering support, a listening ear and assistance with the every day responsibilities. Of course, you tell yourself...

"This too shall pass."

"Things always work out for the best."

"It is God's will."

"I should just be thankful for my blessings."

If you're Christian, you might wonder how to pray for God's will when all you might want is your own desire regardless of His will? I'm like that too and sometimes I feel like Johnny Smith...

penny

Johnny Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord... "God, what does a million years mean to you?"

The Lord replies, "A minute."

Johnny Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"

The Lord replies, "A penny."

Johnny Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?"

The Lord replies, "In a minute."

Obviously I have a little more growing in order to not whine during rough times, but that's part of the reason I'm on this planet, right?

Maybe you have more faith than I do, but even so, there are still a few basic things people can do when going through a tragedy or rough spot in life.

Stop all the extras activities in life and concentrate on just yourself. Declutter your activities and avoid having unrealistic expectations of yourself.
Eat healthy foods and drink plenty of water.
Get plenty of sleep, rest and relaxation. Grief and trauma are exhausting and often triggers the "flight or fight" response.
Seek and find your inner strength through peaceful activities such as reading, meditation and praying.
Accept your mood swings.
Ask for help with anything no matter how trivial the task.
Do not make any major decisions such as moving, buying a car, etc.
Seek help with a therapist if you need someone unbiased to listen. This will allow you to walk through the pain and obtain coping skills.
Allow yourself time to grieve and comfort yourself in your own way. Ignoring the pain will be detrimental to your long term mental health and trying to cope someone else's way is pointless.
Remember that it takes time to recover from tragedy and the effects it has in living day to day.
Eventually you will get to the point where you feel empowered in your life again. Recognize the tragedy and healing so that you can make plans for the future.

That list a little bit to munch on, but I did leave out one thing.

Try to reconnect with humor.

Laughing produces endorphins in the brain and that will naturally cause you to feel happier. Another endorphin producing activity is exercising, but that is a dirty word on this blog.

So here is my attempt to give you a smile today...

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

Hotlines

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Toll-Free: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
TTY: 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)
Web Site: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Workplace Helpline
Toll-Free: 1-800-WORKPLACE (967-5752)
Web Site: http://www.helpline-group.com/home.asp

Office for Victims of Crime
Toll-Free: 1-800-851-3420
TTY: 1-877-712-9279
Web Site: www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc/ovcres/welcome.html

Helpful Resources

National Mental Health Information Center
Toll-Free: 1-800-789-2647 (English and Español)
TDD: 1-866-889-2647
Web Site: www.mentalhealth.samhsa.gov

Mental Health Services Locator
Toll-Free: 1-800-789-2647 (English and Español)
TDD: 1-866-889-2647
Web Site: www.mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/databases

Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator
Toll-Free: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (24/7 English and Español)
TDD: 1-800-487-4889
Web Site: www.findtreatment.samhsa.gov

National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information
Toll-Free: 1-800-729-6686 (English and Español)
TDD: 1-800-487-4889
Web Site: www.ncadi.samhsa.gov

Smiling while wearing cute shoes,

One More Day - One More Time

My dad had cancer several years ago.

Every few months he has to go have his "levels" checked to ensure that the cancer is still in remission.

Today he called to tell me that the doctor is going to start one of two treatments for him because his blood work shows that his levels have shot way up meaning that somewhere in his body there is cancer again.

Dad was absent most of my life, but all was forgiven and we love each other which is what really matters. We've laughed and cried. He tells me the funniest stories of his small town. He talks about the good things. He speaks lovingly about my mother and how he wishes he could go back. I understand him and I feel sorry for his unhappiness, so I try to help by making him laugh a lot. We act silly on the phone sometimes, but it is nice, comfortable, and has brought me full circle in healing my very wounded, broken heart.

Most of all, I like just hearing his voice. It's deep and masculine.

It's Dad.

It touches me somewhere deep in my soul.

I can't even explain the feeling.

So I just want you all to stop for a moment and think of all the people in your life...especially those that you love. If you haven't forgiven them, take my advice and just do it. The anger or pride in your heart will be replaced with peace. It is actually very freeing.

None of us are perfect. We all have our own issues and are living life the best that we can at "that" particular moment. Sometimes our human weaknesses take over which hurts those closest to us. We do not know what is truly in the heart of another or the circumstances that led to their poor behavior or choices. The good news is that it isn't important why, but just that we let go of our own unforgiving actions and feelings.

You don't necessarily have to bring the person back into your life, but you owe it to them and yourself the gift of forgiveness.

It doesn't cost you anything and nothing of value is lost if you give it.

Instead, you and the other person are able to have a new start and a new day. That's really important because there will come a time that you may not have one more day or one more time.

Regret is a very high price to pay for lost opportunities.

Lyrics: Diamond Rio, One More Day

Tell The Truth Thursday - One Week To Live

Welcome to "Tell The Truth Thursday" where the question that has been posted in my right side bar gets answered by me and you...and sometimes my husband too! Did you prepare your post and are you ready to drop your URL into the McLinky so that we all can follow? I hope so!

The question this week is:

If you only had one week left to live, how would you spend it?I think many people would answer this question the same as I will today. I think this answer will be best if I just give you a list:

Alyssa would not go to school for the week so that we could be together.
I would keep the video machine on all the time so that every time I thought of something I wanted to tell someone, it would be recorded. Plus, Alyssa would have me doing normal things. I have been very remiss at recording myself. I recorded everyone else and try to stay out of the video view finder. I'm not going to do that any more. I'm going to start making videos of myself.
The camera would be aimed at me taking tons of pictures.
Eat anything I wanted, any time I wanted to eat.
Find all the "sentimental momentos" and give them to everyone.
Call all my friends who live far away to say "I love you".
Visit the funeral home and take care of all my burial arrangements, so that my family wouldn't have to suffer through all that paperwork.
Visit my sweet dog's burial spot.
Tell Turtle goodbye.
Visit the beach one more time and walk barefoot in the sand.
Take care of all financial responsibilities so that everything would be easy for anyone to find and keep going i.e. paying bills.
Hold my family and express my love to them as many times as possible.
Try to help everyone cope with my impending death.
Pray for forgiveness and try to change God's mind so that he wouldn't take me yet.
Cry a lot because I don't want to leave my family.
Find a pretty white dress for my burial.

That's all rather depressing, however, I have learned something important from this question. Over the last few weeks while I have contemplated my answer, I realized that there are some things I need to immediately change. The main reason is that I do not and will not know the exact moment of my death, so unless I do these things differently now, they may never be completed.

I'm very glad that I started this blog for my sweet daughter, Alyssa. When I started this blog, it had been a long time since I had written anything other than financial reports. Blogging has been a wonderful pleasure. At the end of 2010, I will have my blog bound for Volume I of my life's history. A book that Alyssa can open when she is missing me and needs a hug.

I want to be remembered.

I want to be thought of fondly after I have left this earth.

I want to still share my life with those I love who are living and need comfort.

I'm going to try even harder now to live fully while leaving sweet memories of me and our time together for my daughter. Hopefully, maybe even some wisdom that will comfort and guide her too.

BLOGNTWEET...
The forum for savvy women and men!
Join here.

The Ultimate Gift

The Ultimate Gift is one of the most wonderful, clean, family oriented, thought provoking movies I have seen in a long time. James Garner is forever etched in my brain from his role in The Notebook, but I loved his acting even when I was a little girl. The Rockford Files was one of my favorite shows and I always thought I would grow up and marry him. I was so silly. Do you remember that television show?

The Ultimate Gift is about how oil tycoon Howard 'Red' Stevens estate is divided after his death. His greedy and spoiled family members gather for the reading of the will in the law office of his partner and friend, Mr. Theophillis 'Ted' Hamilton, along with his associate Miss Hastings. His grandson's journey through the various gifts Red gives him and the people he meets along the way is the movie setting.

Young and old can enjoy this movie. It will make you cry, so have the tissues handy, but it will also have you laughing. It will entertain while it teaches you about greed, unselfishness, love, devotion, family, forgiveness, humility, and so much more. The little girl Jason meets will touch your heart. In a way, she reminded me of Curly Sue. If you haven't seen that movie, it also is a fantastic way to spend ninety minutes.

The Ultimate Gift

What movies have you found that are just "the greatest" feel good shows? Alyssa and I always enjoy sitting back (laying down and stretching out) to watch great flicks, so I look forward to your recommendations.

BLOGNTWEET...
The forum for savvy women and men!
Join here.

Forever Until You Die

My birthday has already passed and it was a wonderful day...mostly. I love having a birthday and celebrating everyone's birthday. It is a wonderful occasion to show thanks that we were born.

This birthday was not the big 5-0, but eventually I will hit that number. The depression or deep contemplation that hits everyone will skip me when I do because it happened this year. I thought about my age, doubled it, and realized that the likelihood of living that many more years were slim. "Feelings" took over all my thought processes.

I don't want to leave my daughter.

I want to be able to take care of her when she is old.

I still have so many things left I want to accomplish.

I'm not going to be ready!

Life is too short.

Life really is too short!

I have started a list of the things that I want to accomplish and change in my life. I want to cram every possible experience into the rest of the years that I have left on this planet, so that will take planning and dedication.

None of us knows nor can we "figure out" how much longer we have left to live. Our "death date" is always the one unknown to us all. Each day needs to count whether we are physically accomplishing something or mentally and emotionally doing it. We have every second, in every minute, in every hour, in every day, in every week, in every month, in every year to make our goals happen.

It is purely up to us how we decide to spend our time.