Wearing A French Maid Outfit To Clean My House

Images: source and source respectively

I must admit that by the time you finish reading this post, you will discover that I obviously have a bit more training to do with my family. Your tips will be devoured repeatedly until I can brag about their newly acquired superior skills. It is a well known fact that mothers perform many boring, mundane and repetitive tasks on a daily basis without complaining to their families and it is considered a "labor of love."

You can stop the movie and turn off the DVD player with that "labor of love" talk because this is not a movie where George Clooney is waiting to be dessert. Did I just say that?

There is a point when "labor of love" turns into "maybe I should be wearing a French Maid Outfit" while rushing to wipe their snotty noses. Okay, they are too old to have snotty noses except when they get an occasional cold.

Let me set the mood and then you can answer my question which is...Should I buy a French Maid outfit?

Saturday I got out of bed pretty late and felt quite good, but by early afternoon I decided to take a nap. I never take naps for two reasons:

1. They waste precious time that could be spent doing things I want to do
2. Any nap less than 3 hours isn't a good nap because I wake up very grumpy and can't shake it off
   

Obviously, I do not have big chunks (I love that word it makes me think of cookies) of time to take naps that long nor do I want to do so.

Regardless of those facts, I decided to take a nap and no alarms were set to wake me up. The moment I closed my eyes or maybe two seconds before I closed my eyes, my body was floating in fluffy white clouds of cotton candy happiness.

The dryer buzzes.
The dog barks.
Children scream outside the windows while playing.
The phone rings multiple times according to the Caller ID.

I hear absolutely nothing. I sleep that way...gone 100% into dark nothingness.

No dreams.
No noise.
And there is no waking me without an atomic bomb.

I finally woke up, ate, turned on the television, closed my eyes and once again I was gone. Just like country music superstar Montgomery Gentry sings:

Gone like a freight-train, gone like yesterday
Gone like a soldier in the civil war, bang bang
Gone like a '59 Cadillac
Like all the good things that ain't never coming back
She's gone (gone) gone (gone) gone (gone) gone
She's gone

That was me...Gone!

By the time Sunday rolls around, my back is still hurting (yeah, I hurt it gathering up Dad's clothes before the funeral because my sister and I want them) and I discover that once again I am climbing out of bed late (no visual images - it will scare you too badly)

No big deal. I need time for my back to heal. So I can sit, but standing and bending are the no-no's. Now that should work to my advantage don't you think?

• The nine loads of laundry that I washed are still unfolded.
• The house isn't vacuumed or dusted.
• I did, however, manage to make Brunswick Stew, so I knew the family wouldn't starve. Besides, "my family" consists of a 17 year old daughter who cooks marvelously and a husband who...yeah, well, he can't cook, but he can make sandwiches.

The daughter and hubby feign nausea and aching back respectively, so the chores remain undone. Ironic that the daughter could play with friends for eight hours and hubby could do fun excursions here and there for six hours, but both are unable to do chores. My back hurts bad enough that I think, "Whatever, it is just a little dust and clothing."

When I stand up to walk, I am bent like the hunchback of Notre Dame. Not a beautiful site. Daughter and hubby both see me walking here and there hunched down. It was around 4:00 p.m. on Sunday and THEN IT HAPPENS...

(Daughter is lounging on the couch) "Mom, will you get me some ice in my drink?"

(The thought in my mind was "She didn't just ask me to go fetch her ice, did she? No way.")

I turn around and ask, "You've got to be kidding?"

I get down on the ground, lay on my back and pull my knees up to my chest. I'm sure you know that Rolly Polly type bug position that stretches your spine. I look just beautiful doing it - Not.

(Hubby is in the kitchen) "Do you think you can make a peach cobbler?"

I stop rocking.

Something is definitely wrong with this picture.

"No, I am not making peach cobbler, but I will tell Alyssa how to make it."

"I don't feel like making it Mo-om," she says barely before the breath left my mouth on the last word.

I laughed something between a maniacal mad scientist and the wicked green witch on The Wizard of Oz.

When my back gets better (it is just a pulled muscle) I am going to buy a French Maid outfit with black mesh pantyhose. Every time I cook and clean, I will don the skimpy little outfit with the mesh hose and six inch black heels. I'm sure they will get the message.

I am the Mother and Wife, not the Maid. There really is a huge difference between the two.

As an afterthought...

I wonder if there will be repercussions for wearing that maid uniform?

A broken ankle?

A pulled muscle?

No, no, no!

The sight will probably burn their eyes out of their heads or make them throw up.

Now I'm laughing like Cruella de Ville. Maybe I really should buy that little French Maid outfit.

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Men's Meme - Make-up, Hair and Shaving

It's that time again to have some questions answered from a man's point of view. The topic for the Men's Meme is something I think women know, but find it hard to believe the answers that men give because we are extremely critical of ourselves. Tom's answers and comments will be in BLUE:

How do you feel about women wearing/not wearing make-up, having their hair perfect/not perfect and legs shaved/not shaved?

As if any woman will believe this, and I know because I have told or tried to reassure a few, this kind of hygienic obsession and anxiety with make-up, hair and shaving is energy poorly spent. When a man loves a woman, that's who he loves...the person. None of the trappings that may have intrigued him in those early days are necessary to hold his interest and passion once he has fallen. Nonetheless, I realize that this point of view and its reassuring intention falls upon deaf ears along side nicely rouged cheeks and between well coiffed locks. With that said and meant, silky, smooth legs and thighs are nice.

Regardless of Tom's opinion, I never leave the house without my make-up applied and hair neatly arranged. My legs and arm pits never look like this either, but I do understand that it isn't as big a deal to him as it is to me. Have you ever met a man who likes to wait while you "put on your face" or fix your hair? A man usually just plops a baseball cap on his head and leaves. I know that some men do not share his opinion, but the majority of his gender find the girl next door more appealing and that is the woman they fall in love with and marry.

I have found that women put pressure on themselves and each other to look good at all times. Why? I do not know the answer to this question. I do know that on days that I stay home and no one is coming over, I love to have a face void of make-up, wear my snowflake or cupcake jammies with a head full of rebellious curls like Medusa.



Women do not have to wear certain clothes or weigh a minuscule amount in order to be loved and neither do men. I do the extras because it makes me feel like a prettier woman. I'm able to camouflage my flaws, cover my flab and walk proudly with my neatly arranged curls and smiling painted face. Just as women love to see a man looking dapper in a suit and tie, men also love to see a woman finely coiffed and hanging on his arm like a prize sometimes too.

Bottom line is that men will love us without our name brand purse, shoes, clothes, make-up or hairdo. How would that leave us? Ummmmm...in our birthday suit and we know that men do not have a problem with that apparel. Don't you agree?

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Men's Meme - Getting Old

It's that time again to have some questions answered from a man's point of view. The topic for the Men's Meme at Families Again is a little depressing. I'm not sure if age phases him though, so we will see what he has to say. His comments will be in BLUE:

How do you feel about getting old? Do you relish it? Hate the thought? Are you somewhat scared? Give me your thoughts.

I do like relish, but not in this context. I'm surprised to hear myself say what I have been thinking more often than not - I'm tired. I don't have the energy for fear nor the promise of loss of good fortune and good health upon which fear is based.

If I had the energy, I'd be depressed. I had more than my share of near death experiences early in life and so, I have more gratitude perhaps than most people. I have not always been good, but I've had a good life and so I'm good to go.




The years teach much
which the days never knew.~Ralph Waldo Emerson~







I'm just going to be blunt because I'm pretty good at it. I hate getting older. I can't believe I'm already this age! Looking in the mirror is not fun any more and since I have to do it every day to put on my make-up and dry my hair, there seems to be no escape.

The other day I was in a conversation about breasts, but we said boobs. We were expressing how so many women have pain because their breasts are too large. I'll take their boobs! I also remember when I was nursing Alyssa for eighteen months. Nursing women have beautiful milk-filled breasts and I was no exception to the rule. In this conversation I said, "I loved my boobs! I looked at them all the time because I knew that once I stopped nursing, they would disappear." I was not perverted either. I just appreciate a nice looking pair of breasts like the next person. Not only can't I believe it was so long ago, but I remember my body was so young and beautiful seventeen years ago. I am not conceited, but my body then compared to now is a drastic difference and I miss it.

Appearance isn't the only thing that I have watched change. My health is also dramatically different. My body decided to break down a little here and there making the pharmacist one of my best friends. I can't just jump a hedge in the lawn or leap across a huge puddle either. I often try, but the results are usually not pretty if I succeed with "if" being the main word. I wake up with aches, pains and creaks that did not used to be in my body. Ugh!

I remember my grandmother being the age that I am now. My family is young and everyone, except for me, seemed to have babies very young. The advantage is that I remember everyone without wrinkles or gray hair. They were also filled with energy. My grandfather used to play basketball and horseshoes with me after he mowed a very large yard with a push lawn mower. That was after he had already tended a very large garden. He was young! Now, I am older than he was back then and seem to have far less energy, so that is a double ugh!

I also fear getting older. What is going to happen to me if I get really sick? My mother will not live forever no matter how much I wish it to be true, so she isn't going to be around to take care of me like she did when I was a young child. I can't count on my husband because not only is he much older than me, but he won't even pick up his own mess now so I can't imagine him taking care of a woman with deteriorated vitality. I don't want to be a burden to my daughter, although she will probably be really mad at me for even saying that because she already told me not to worry. But what if she gets married to someone that hates me? Yeah, I'm pretty much a basket case.

Finally, the thought of dying is terrible. My grandparents, all of them, died very slowly. It was horrible! I remember praying every night for God to please let my grandmother leave this mortal existence because she was suffering so terribly. I do not want to suffer! I do not want pain! I do not want to leave my daughter!

I guess I have sufficiently depressed myself and you, but that wasn't my intention. The more I thought about this question today, the more it bothered me. I know that coming to this earth, gaining a body, growing and making choices, and eventually dying is the plan. I just don't like it. I can't change it, but I don't like how it has to decline and then end. The only thing that actually keeps me from being completely depressed to the depths of misery when I think about dying is my testimony of Christ. I know that some day we will all be joined with our families, but the time and trials between then and now is often overwhelming.




"Death is not
the greatest loss in life.
The greatest loss
is what dies inside us
while we live."~Norman Cousins~

To cheer myself up after writing this and for you after reading this, go here and here and here, but don't forget to tell me how you feel about dying too.

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Remember Me

There's always so many things to do, places to go and people to see. Often it is just a rat race. Our lives are filled with "things" that are not important and that cause us to be endlessly busy.

I do not want that type of life.

I do not have that type of life.

My life has been narrowed down to the basics. Part of the reason was to be sure I was focusing my attention on the activities that added value. For instance, I stopped shopping just for the thrill of it a long time ago. I no longer get a high from purchasing items I don't need and end up regretting later anyway. I just don't get caught up in the purchase. I also prefer getting homemade gifts because it tells me that the person loved me enough to take the time to put together something with their own hands. They thought about me.

My calendar does not have every minute of every day planned with an activity. As a matter of fact, it is mostly blank because it allows for carefree timelessness. I want to spend the rest of my life in activities with my family, doing things that will also add value to their lives. I don't want to die and be forgotten.

I want to be remembered.

Don't we all have that desire?

That isn't a morbid thought, but just a simple reality. I want to have mattered. I want to be remembered as someone whose heart was filled with love, compassion, tenderness and found joy in helping others. Just as I overlook everyone's faults and weaknesses, I want others to do the same for me.

Aren't we all just trying to live a happy life?

I was talking to Mom on the phone this week and she randomly said, "I was looking at all my pictures and realized how old they looked."

Since we had just been talking about Alyssa turning 17, I assumed she meant my daughter, Alyssa and my niece, Brittany. "Yes," I said, they have really grown into beautiful young women."

Much to my astonishment, she said, "No, I mean you and Audrey."

"What?!"

"I can't believe you and your sister look so old now," she said rather calmly and somewhat bewildered.

She even sounded distressed by it.

I wasn't offended. Actually, it just reiterated the fact that I do not want to have a frivolous life because even my mother realizes that time is truly slipping by us all. The rest of the day I kept thinking, "Am I wasting my life? Is my life filled with the important things? Can I stand at the feet of my Savior and not be ashamed?"

I am even more dedicated to leaving behind a legacy of good memories. For the record, I feel forgiveness for everyone who has hurt me. My heart no longer carries hatred for the wrongs done against me. Believe me when I say that was a huge undertaking. There are still scars and the memories creep in to make me sad, but hate is gone. It is such a relief to have let it all go.


I also want Alyssa to know that I have forgiven everyone, whether they asked me to or not. This is an important thing we each need to do. Hatred wears us down and cankers the soul. It's just not worth harboring negativity.

I love Alyssa with all my heart and every fiber of my being. She is and always will be the sunshine of my morning. She is the fulfillment of the best of motherhood. Alyssa is forgiveness, love, fun, perfume, shoes, electronics and big brown eyes under silky blond hair.

I love my mother beyond words. She gave me life, love and beliefs that shaped everything about me. She is compassion, lace, fabric, sewing needles, chocolate fudge, big hair, self-consciousness, sacrifice, love and long prayers.

I love my dad because he's my dad no matter which way you look at it. He will always be Old Spice, Elvis' hairstyle, fuzzy socks, crisp shirts, and a heart that aches to be loved.

I love my sister who I begged my parents to give me. I have more memories with her than all the words written on the internet. She is underwater tea parties, Barbies in the bathtub, brownies, a bird's nest, and static filled blond hair tickling my nose when we jumped in the bed to sleep together.

I love my niece, Brittany, who is the child of my heart with flaming red hair. She is library books, a tender heart, quick tears, red fingernails, lots of love and a quick, intelligent mind.

And I love the three T's...Terry (Audrey's husband), Tom (Mom's husband) and the other Tom (my husband). Each have their own talents, strengths and a specialness that has made us all love them. Each has touched my life and brought me comfort when my soul has cried out in pain. For that I can not thank them enough and I love them more than they really could possibly know.

So in this somewhat rambling, stream of consciousness type posting, I hope that you can walk away with at least one thing...love.

Love your family.

Hold them close and tight.

Fill your lives with activities to cultivate the loving bond.

I'm feeling more like the song Brooks and Dunn sings called Believe,

I raise my hands, bow my head
I'm finding more and more truth
in the words written in red
They tell me that there's more to life
than just what i can see
Oh i believe

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Men's Meme - Late Life Pregnancy

It's that time again to have some questions answered from a man's point of view. The topic for the Men's Meme at Families Again is rather humorous. I am laughed when I first read it since it was based on my post last week. Tom is going to answer the question tonight, so you will all see how he feels about the whole issue. His comments will be in BLUE:

What would you do if your kids were grown and your wife told you that she thought...more than thought...was pretty sure that she was pregnant?

Well, I'd be more than just a little excited for so many reasons not the least of which is that I have (including my stepchild Alyssa) seven living children already. I had ten and lost three along the way. Since I'm not a woman and don't personally have to endure any health hazards, I would respond as I always have...with a hardy hail, "Yeah!"

To be honest, I'm not the least bit surprised at Tom's answer. I know Tom thinks he is Adam in the Garden of Eden with a goal of populating the whole world. Did I just say that about my husband?

As you probably already know, I have dreaded the empty nest syndrome from almost the moment Alyssa was born. I love being a mother and if I'm totally honest, I find true joy in being needed. Nothing is so sweet as the sound of Alyssa's voice saying from the other room saying, "Mo-om, can you come here a second? I need you."

Ahhhh. Those words are music to my ears and lift my soul to a supernal state of joy and happiness.

I had always hoped for more children and have been sad that it never happened. Nothing is better than the unconditional love of a child. Nothing feels as good as tiny arms wrapped tightly around my neck. Nothing is as fulfilling to me than being a mother.

When I was pregnant, before I knew the gender of my child, I received one little baby boy's outfit. Of course, it never got used because Alyssa was a girl It still hangs on a tiny hanger in my closet at the end of all my clothes. It's blue and white with little feet in it.

Snuggly like a baby.

Many times, all alone, I have taken it down and wondered what it would have been like to have another child. If my cup already overflows with Alyssa, I can not comprehend the euphoria of an additional baby.

Tiny feet.

Little fingers.

Dimples.

Toys.

Teething.

Firsts.

Scraped knees.

Blankies.

Smudges on the windows.

Doctor visits.

Cutting food into small pieces.

Sippy cups.

Diapers.

Soft hairbrushes.

Pink baby lotion.

Car seats.

Nursing.

Naps.

The list is almost endlessly filled with the things that make having a child delightful. The problem is my health and age are not prime for growing new life. The desire for a baby, however,...

will always be there...

a feeling that doesn't go away...

to feel the small life growing within is a heavenly experience.


I remember ever second.

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Housework Makes You Ugly

I can not escape the ever present chores needing to be completed. I have found that the easiest way to get the cleaning finished on a regular basis without being completely exhausted is to do a few Monday through Friday leaving Saturday and Sunday free. I find this method to work great.

If you don't remember how I feel about cleaning, check out The Tale of a Clean House.

Anyway, lately with my overly tired condition which I'm not going to worry about even though I keep thinking about it, I haven't felt like cleaning.

I know, I know, don't faint.

I don't want anything dirty, but I am too tired to clean.

My husband doesn't clean the house. He thinks his job is to dirty it so that I can clean it. I think he is still stuck in some kind of time warp where women were a man's servant. Well, that's how it feels anyway.

About twenty years ago I went to the Plano Balloon Festival in Plano, Texas. I love watching hot air balloons and hearing the rush of the air and fire filling the HUGE parachute type balloons..

It is so exciting just thinking about it!

At the balloon festivals, there are always vendors selling homemade crafts. At one such event, I purchased a wooded figure holding a heart that says, "Housework makes you ugly."

The heart is cute, the doll is basically...ugly...on purpose. I mean really, look at her atrocious hair!


She is always staring at me from the kitchen as a reminder that each time I clean, I take on the uglies. It's true! I do things like put my hair up in a barrette so it won't hang down in the toilet or get in my way to see when I bend to dust the furniture. Don't you do that too? When I vacuum the baseboards, it is work! Often I am sweating because I'm trying to hurry and get it done before I poop out. Cleaning baseboards, air conditioning vents and washing windows is manual labor and exercise. Did I ever tell you that I don't like exercising?

It would be so much easier if my husband was motivated to do chores. My stepfather and brother-in-law not only do chores, but they cook! My husband doesn't get the hint. I have almost given up on finding a way to encourage his participation in home cleanliness. I feel doomed to a lifetime of being a maid. Surely that isn't why I was put on this earth! So if you have some suggestions, short of hiring someone else, living in filth or banishing him from the house, I am very excited to hear them.

What do you think I can do to effectively convince him to clean too? How do you motivate your spouse to help you out and pick up their own mess? Is this just a basic trait of all men from his generation? I wonder if George Clooney is neat and tidy because if not, that would sure wreck my fantasy!

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Men's Meme - Health Care

It's that time again to have some questions answered from a man's point of view. The topic for the Men's Meme at Families Again are "Hot Topic" questions. Tom is too eager to talk about this topic today. His comments will be in BLUE:

What do you think? Is this new health care reform good for our country? Do you agree with one of the above point of views? Why or why not?

I didn't even have to ask him to come in to share his answer, but instead I had to tell him to give me a second to get the page ready.

I agree with MY point of view which is that of a clinical director in the health care industry. Health care should be sought according to the following three benchmarks:

1. Quality
2. Accessibility
3. Affordability

In comparison to every uninformed opinion "that is to say anyone that has not read the hundreds of pages of whatever bill did pass in the House...good luck in the Senate", the above three criteria are presently moreover met giving rise to the adage "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Applied to our present economic nightmare, the question is what can we possibly fix since we're broke already?!

In short, you get what you pay for. We're lucky to have the health care providers that dare operate in the perilous quagmire that is our present system (i.e. insurance companies playing doctor and charging doctors userous malpractice insurance premiums--go figure).

Does the expression "Already being ripped off by the above stated conflict of interest" get to the point more quickly?

Hmmm...yeah. Thanks, but no thanks Congress.

Thank you Tom.

I do not know everything in the health care bill, but have received many emails from friends who are for or against the whole thing. I think it is ridiculous that every bill, health care or otherwise, has so many non-related items attached. As far as the health care bill goes...I am completely against it if just one of the following is true:

1. My taxes pay for illegal aliens to get anything, health care included. Try to remember that my family were farmers through the generations and went without many things. My point is that NOBODY gave them anything for free. They worked hard for it and they were not in this country illegally.

2. The government is going to be in charge of health care the same way they have bombed leading the welfare system.

3. The government will force anyone to buy anything because this whole concept goes against the foundation of free agency and commerce in a democratic system.

I find the whole political system to be extremely corrupt and it produces fear and anxiety within me for our future as a country. I love our freedom and am so thankful for all the men and women who have died to preserve our rights as a free nation. I pray that good will prevail and God will be with us regardless of corruption within our government.

May we forever be free.

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Faith First

As a Christian woman, I am supposed to practice faith in all things which is simply a belief that God will do the best for me, my family, friends, country, world...you get the point. I'm ashamed to say, having faith is very hard for me when it pertains to my life and very easy when it is someone else's life.

Maybe that is just human

Or maybe that is being weak.

I think it is just my own weakness.

My faith has been drowned by fear and doubt.

I find it hard to just believe that God wants to bless me.

My husband, Tom, has been out of work for quite some time. He has remained steadfast and positive that in God's time he would find work again. I have felt that God was punishing me for my sins. That I apparently deserved unhappiness, stress and fear. That the financial hardships were what I merited. I haven't spoken this aloud except for once, but it has been in my heart.

God blesses us even when we are weak,

Sinful and

Faithless.

In complete humility and deep in my heart, I always knew that God loved me even with all my weaknesses,

Sins,

And with my lack of faith.

I tried doing many things to adjust my attitude. A few of the most different included blogging more motivations to uplift my spirit and increase my faith. I turned off the television and didn't listen to the radio to and from work so that I could carry on a conversation with God

Pleading for a job for my husband

And to obtain the whisperings of peace in my heart.

My mother and husband's faith was strong. Their prayers of faith were pleasing to God, I'm sure. I was weak and prayed with a heavy heart, fear and doubt. Because He loves me in spite of my weaknesses and as a blessing to the faith of my mother and husband, God granted His blessing.

My husband has a job.

An excellent job that he starts on Monday.

My heart is full with

Gratitude,

Knowledge

In the power of God

And embarrassed humility that I didn't have more faith and believe in Him for the blessing we needed.

I know that many of you have been praying this same prayer with us, so I want to publicly thank you for your friendship,

Prayers,

And most of all examples of practicing faith.

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Men's Meme - Poverty and Wealth

Tom has another question to answer for the Families Again Men's Meme as soon as he can tear himself way from his keyboard, computer and ear phones. He will sit there with these big things covering his ears and tell me that he can hear me "just fine" when I'm talking to him. Oh boy. When he finally gets out here his comments will be in BLUE:

Can a person be so blinded by their wealth that they miss the poverty of the world? And, if so, what can they do about it?

"So are you ready to answer that question?"

"Yes...The love of money, being the root of all evil according to many, is much like other committed love wherein one forsakes all others in their romantic "pursuit". Quite naturally impoverished situations would be unattractive and avoided if not ignored by a very wealthy person.

Philanthropy is unusual. For example, ironically, according to the U.S. News and World Report, December, 1991, the poorest households gave 5.5% opposed to the 2.9% by the wealthiest households. Could it be that the wealthiest lack a degree of humility leading to compassion that results in charitable giving?

July 2006, from The Age, reported "that the world's second-richest man is giving his money away to the world's richest man points to significant shifts in the business of corporate largesse.

Warren Buffett's decision to donate 10 million Class B shares in his holding company, Berkshire Hathaway, worth $US37 billion ($A49.8 billion) at today's prices, to help Bill Gates run the world's biggest philanthropic foundation, reflects changes in expectations and approaches to philanthropy."

However, this picture illustrates the vast difference in the distribution of wealth in the world and it just shouldn't be this way.


I do not have special criticism towards Mariah Carey and I love her singing voice, but the picture of her closet with numberless pairs of shoes helps to visualize the dramatic comparison between the amount of money spent on her shoes while others starve to death.

Whatever you say, please do not justify this type of wealth distribution with "it's just business" because starving to death should not be business. What happened to humanity?

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Men's Meme - Love At First Sight

The Men's meme question answered by Tom is below and his comments will be in BLUE:

How do you feel about love at first sight?

Being an expert in many things and certainly a legend in my own mind, I'm not afraid to answer this question...Well, I'll give it a try.


Love, being the operative word, requires a definition. Energy resulting from "love" can lead to life's greatest joy or crimes of passion. Few other experiences are as widely published and eagerly pursued.

So for definition let's characterize love (in it's broadest sense to include lovers, children, friends, and inanimate interests such as chocolate) as that rare emotion that can motivate one to place another's well being ahead of their own.

That degree of selflessness flies in the face of the next most noble and popular attitude...enlightened self-interest.

This altruistic experience of love can not be had upon first sight. It is only upon a structure of trust, above a foundation of understanding and acquaintance, that true love is born.

That said, titillating first impressions are a good start and may swiftly result in love.


In couple relationships, I believe that love at first sight is simply lust. Love is an emotion that takes time to cultivate and that is done by communication during shared experiences. It is not only wonderful, but necessary to find each other physically appealing, but there has to be more to build on than just lustful physical longings. When the new fascination is over, there needs to be other common elements between the couple which provides opportunities to grow mentally and spiritually in one purpose. Without other commonalities, lust will eventually fade leaving emptiness in it's wake. Lust is not love, however, love can lust.

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Men's Meme...Submit to Husband?

The men's meme is going pretty good and I like the addition of a man's point of view on a couple posts a week. There are so many women in my family that testosterone is a pleasant change. So I just asked Tom to leave the Man Cave and he should be here shortly to answer the following question and his comments will be in BLUE:

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Colossians 3:18 New International Bible

What do you think that the above Bible verse means, and how do you apply it (if you do) in your household?

"Aren't you excited for the new question tonight Tom?

"Oh yeah."

"So, I know what my take is and I'm ready to hear your take on this very controversial Bible scripture."

"Surely this is a tough law for a woman to have dictated to her by a man. If it is taken out of its scriptural context, it is little more than unrighteous dominion, a longstanding, chauvinist dynamic in many marriages naturally resulting in resentment and an absence of love."

I can't imagine any woman being comfortable with just that statement. A better arrangement of the concept is found in Corinthians 11:3 and it reads:

...The head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Taken altogether, this would suggest that a wife is commanded to sustain and support her husband in so far as he is obedient to Christ and treats the woman with His attributes. This is rare.

A better approach for both marriage partners is to find happiness and satisfaction in progress towards these commandments in lieu of perfection.

Or more simply, I Corinthians 11:11:

Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.

Hmmm...chicken or the egg comes to mind. Yet another of God's many mysteries.

Christians are taught John 15:13:

This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

"Thanks Tom."

"You're welcome honey."

I guess he won't be sleeping on the couch after all.






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Men's Meme - The Redhead Riter's Husband

I thought I would do something fun once a week. Along with my posting, I am going to post a "men's meme" that runs from Monday to Monday hosted by Families Again and my husband will provide his answer to the meme. I'm going to add some testosterone to my blog! If you want to participate or have your husband participate, just click the button below, sign up on the Linky and make your posting.

So we will start with hubbins first...age before beauty.



So Tom's question is...

Do you make New Year's resolutions? If not, why not? If so, what are they?

I do not make New Year's resolutions because I am philosophically opposed to committing outside of a family or group context. If there isn't any accountability and not a requirement for me to fulfill for an exact purpose, it isn't worth it to me.

When I was forty years old and had six children ranging from the ages of one to sixteen, I decided to complete my graduate degree in one year and work full time. I look back in awe and can't imagine ever doing it again. I can't believe I did it then and I don't think anyone else can either.

Consequently, I'm allergic to books, paper, ink...seriously! On the bright side, I learned to read quickly and write more concisely with less editing; I had little time for rewrites. Ironically, this led to licensure in a profession that requires me to write an accounting of all my patient care and obtain forty class hours of continuing education each year. Good thing I didn't think about that in advance.

I just made a New Year's resolution to be more patient, tolerant, vigilant and regularly post in the Men's Meme...even if it kills me...

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The Eyes Are The Windows To The Soul

My eyes are an ocean
in which my dreams are reflected.



Those true eyes
Too pure and too honest
in aught to disguise
The sweet soul shining through them.
~Owen Meredith



Seeing is not always believing.
Sometimes you have to take
a giant leap into the darkness.



The eyes have
one language
everywhere.
~George Herbert~

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Sincerity is Heartfelt

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Between the ice cream, chocolate, your well wishes and prayers, I made it through the day.


So did my husband. He is peacefully snoring the roof off in the other room.

Albert Schweitzer said,

At times our own light
goes out and is rekindled
by a spark
from another person.
Each of us has cause
to think
with deep gratitude
of those who have lighted
the flame within us.

Thank you for your heartfelt wishes that buoyed my spirit today. I truly appreciate your comments.

While we are on the subject of being heartfelt, have you ever looked that word up in the dictionary? I did. Yeah, I know you are not surprised. Once a nerd, always a nerd! Just be thankful I'm not teaching you Calculus.

heartfelt: deeply or sincerely felt; earnest (a considerable or impressive degree or amount). Adjectives of this word: sincere, deep, earnest, warm, genuine, profound, honest, ardent, devout, hearty, fervent, cordial, wholehearted

Isn't that just a lovely word?

With an abundance of gratefulness, I wish to thank my bloggie friend Lisa from All That and a Box of Rocks for giving me the Heartfelt Blogger Award.



Like Lisa, I don't really dig following the rules, so I am glad she didn't post any for this award! In appreciation of your heartfelt kindnesses today, I want to pass this award to you.

Blue Cotton Memory She also asked me a question and I posted the answer here:

Personal Journal Blogroll

The Fifty Factor
Zesty Nachos
Marlie and Me
Keep In Touch With Mommakin
The Professional Family Manager
Maman & Gourmand
Abundant Living
Away We Go
Coupon Clippin' Mommy
Unknown Mami
The Sporadic Cook

Thank you all very much!

Check out the short posts on my other blogs.
You might find something helpful.

Cheff-ess
Crystal Clear
Twitter...Tweet, Tweet, Tweet
Recipe: Old Fashioned Taffy
Honesty In Business
#2 Laws of Advertising
Create a Blog Button or Badge

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Being Blue with Yellow Roses

I'm not really the "bring me flowers" or "buy me diamonds" kind of girl. I usually enjoy chocolate, ice cream, books, a camera or a new computer program more. If you haven't noticed, I changed my template a little bit. I created double columns to the right which enabled me to reduce the size of the footer. I also added a textured background image while the postings will be set against a white background. I found a couple widgets that list the "Top Commentors" and counts the number of postings and comments made on the entire blog. Everything is just a little more streamlined. Needless to say, I was really excited about the changes. It feels like moving the furniture in a room, vacuuming and discovering that the room feels larger.

My blog alacrity doesn't really transcend to my husband and daughter. They support me and often read my postings, but I can't really call their reactions enthusiastic. Imagine my surprise when my husband walks in with a billion roses and declares that it is in honor of my new blog template.

At first I thought an alien had abducted the real Tom and then I thought he was just being sarcastic. Neither was true. He really did buy me "flowers" to celebrate changing my "blog's template" - Hell is probably going to freeze over tonight.

Click on the images to see them BIG and DETAILED

I am definitely feeling special. I guess he doesn't realize that the few changes I made to this blog do not even come close to the creation of the other seven blogs. Maybe he is actually apologizing (in a man's way) for harassing me so terribly when I was creating the other blogs. It doesn't really matter at this point because I am not giving up the flowers. I do hope, however, that Tom now realizes that blogging is more than sitting down and typing. I've made friends, won contests, laughed, cried and feel a little bit of the woman named Sherry coming back to life again.

It is so easy to get lost in between being a mother, wife, sister, aunt, daughter, employee, and church member, paying the bills, cooking, vacuuming, sewing, grocery shopping, washing dishes, laundry, scrubbing floors, cleaning bathrooms, polishing furniture, scrubbing baseboards, and driving hither and tither.

My life is rather chaotic right now.

• Tomorrow Tom has surgery on his back and it is a good time to do it because
• he lost his job last week due to downsizing
• The possibility of Tom not getting another job soon is terrifying
• I have a giant bookcase that I am fixing for Alyssa standing in the middle of my living room
• I don't feel the holiday spirit and everywhere is starting to look and sound like Christmas
• I have another birthday in less than two months...ick
• I miss my best friend, my little pooch, Evette, desperately (she passed away September 2008 and she had the same metamorphosis as the Velveteen Rabbit - she became real...human almost)
• And lastly, my daughter is growing up too fast

Today, I am just basically a mess. So I'm going to smell my yellow flowers and eat a bowl of pecan sprinkled vanilla bean ice cream slathered with chocolate syrup . Isn't that how you are supposed to drown your misery?

"Without ice cream
life and fame are meaningless."

Check out the short posts on my other blogs.
You might find something helpful.

Cheff-ess
Crystal Clear
Twitter...Tweet, Tweet, Tweet
To Blog or Not To Blog
Recipe: Old Fashioned Taffy
Honesty In Business
#2 Laws of Advertising

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